


The third side

by Courageous_Cat



Series: The Third Side Series [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Action, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:34:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Courageous_Cat/pseuds/Courageous_Cat
Summary: Allen may not be welcome at the Black Order, but his friends join him as they make their own path living on the Ark. As they all learn to depend on one another, Allen and Kanda realize there is something far bigger than friendship between them. (This is an edit of my work of the same name posted on fanfiction.net in 2010-2011, in light of canon revealed since it's original posting and to make it a prequel to 'When it's hard to keep moving'.)
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Allen Walker
Series: The Third Side Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555147
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

Allen's POV:

In a mountain range in Spain selected for its negligible population, I sparred against Lenalee and Lavi, teamed with Kanda on my side and Komui as our tactical observer. It's now been over a year since General Cross disappeared. And if anyone considered there to be a third side to this war, we're it - 'We' being myself and everyone living on the Ark. Komui and Johnnie were with us for now to help us get started, but they would have to return, and the rest of us would be on our own eventually. I'm truly grateful for all of their presence, since I was the only one that really needed to leave the Black Order. There are only three undiscovered pieces of Innocence left – somewhere - in the world, and very few exorcists to fight against the Earl. Teamwork has been the name of the game for some time now, and whenever we weren't on missions, we were honing our skills together. 

The leaves of the trees were just turning color, and there was pleasant crispness to the air. Some twenty minutes into the match, Lavi was taking a barrage of swings at me with his big hammer, and his movements have gotten nearly quicker than I can evade. I dodged with effort and put more distance between us, but his handle extended to follow me. He switched to a lancing technique and his hammer changed shape to become more pointed. I fired scatter-shots at him the whole time, and when I maneuvered to his blind side, I hid myself behind a large rock. His now-crystal-type weapon was much attuned to his thoughts and emotions, but I was still better in that respect.

Once situated, I went out of cover and used my cannon repeatedly to guide him to a position where he was between Kanda and me. I changed my position constantly and he couldn't pin down where I was at any given time. The dust my attack kicked-up aided me as well. Kanda was in a close-combat fight with Lenalee, so fast that it was a blur of activity, but he managed to free himself just long enough to send a vibrant blue burst of energy Lavi's way – the shape being more tall than wide. Lavi had little choice but to be hit by either Kanda's fire or my wide ranging attack. He used his hammer to go vertically upward, but not in time to avoid the hit.

He fell to the ground, and I was upon him quickly; my left arm grew and was holding him down solidly. Next, my index finger took on a knifes-edge and I set it against this throat. We both stayed frozen that way, breathing heavily. When we looked at each other, it was as opponents. But the longer we stayed, eye to eye, the more we could see friends in each other once again. Lavi acknowledged the defeat and I let him go. I allowed myself to feel pleased by the victory for only a moment before I turned to go return the favor to Kanda.

Both Kanda and Lenalee saw me approach, though I ran along the high ground in an attempt to avoid being seen. Kanda backed off, likely because we were both better long-range fighters than she is. She jumped high in the air and achieved the higher ground easily. I tried to shoot at her as she did so, but failed to come close.

Kanda took that time to come nearer to me. Lenalee came down full speed, and Kanda and I ran like hell to avoid it. She missed us, but the shock wave made us fall down hard. She came at us with a flying kick. I managed to grab her with my left arm but the force caused by her speed pulled at my shoulder; I knew it would be sore for the rest of the battle.

My arm fell to the floor. She kicked, with the one leg of hers that was sticking out from my fist. I wasn't about to let my arm get broken over a sparring session, so I let her go. The determination never wavered from her face. She stumbled upright and then jumped to the air again. I turned to Kanda and, well, he always seemed to have a determined look on his face. I thought it was time to try a tactic we had talked about. I said "I'm going up!" and ran the distance between me and Kanda. He let go of his crystal-type sword and it reverted to a bracelet on his wrist. When I got to him, I stepped on his waiting hands and pushed myself straight up while he threw me at the same time. The maneuver worked surprisingly well because I managed to meet Lenalee in mid-air, with me still going up and her going down. It took her by surprise and she didn't block as I clawed diagonally across her back. I had enough control of my arm to round the ends of my claws to prevent real injury, but I exerted enough pressure to make sure that it counted as a hit.

If she yelled out immediately afterwards, I couldn't hear it through the wind. But I saw Kanda land a hit against her. I let myself feel the total victory as my jump crested with the feeling of weightlessness. Coming down, I saw Lenalee kneeling on one knee with her back to me, and when I put my attention to Kanda I saw him looking back up at me. He was too far away for me to see his expression, but I found myself wishing that I could.

All in all, I only had to wait a few seconds and I was on the ground again. I bent my knees deep, and I was just a little jarred by the landing. I started walking over to Lenalee to make sure that she was alright, but her brother beat me to it. I could hear his carrying-on and I was sure that he wouldn't tolerate my presence well at the moment. So, I stopped moving. Lavi walked up behind Komui and he gave me a shrug with both arms that said "Do what you want, but at your own risk".

I b-lined for Kanda instead. He was also moving towards me, so we met half way. I felt more and more like smiling the closer I got to him. "Nice teamwork" I said. I was no longer able to hold it back, and I gave him a huge grin. Of course I was happy for being able work so well together; we've all come so far. But I knew that my smile was because of something else as well. And when he looked at me with that confident expression and displayed a proud little smile back, that something else felt even stronger.

I could feel my cheeks starting to flush. I wondered for the thousandth time whether Kanda knew that he had this effect on me. He gave me a once-over and then focused on my weapon arm. "Let me see," he said mildly as he grabbed me on the forearm. He bent at the waist some, and moved my arm to meet his face a half foot away. It was bruising up but there were no lacerations. He had a good eye to see the purpling on that arm.

"It was because of Lenalee getting out of my grip. My shoulder hurts the worst though." I said as he took his closer look. It was the way he moved my arm in his inspection that made realize how sore my shoulder was. I gritted my teeth a little but it didn't hurt enough for me to pull my arm back.

"Yes, I remember." Satisfied with the inspection of my arm he said, "Well, it's nothing that needs to be treated. How about your shoulder though?" He stepped closer to get a good view of the shoulder in question. My heartbeat, which had been slowing after the fight, sped up again. "How well can you rotate the joint?"

I moved my arm to the side and rotated it around slowly. There was a lot of strain, but nothing seemed out of place. "It will be fine in a few days," I replied.

Kanda nodded, satisfied with the response.

Lavi, Lenalee, and Komui walked over to us then, and the shift in focus was welcome. We stood in a circle and Komui commenced giving the four of us our battle notes while Timcampy landed on my shoulder. "Lenalee and Lavi, you started off strongly as a team but then you let yourselves get separated. Lavi, at the turning point it looked like you were so focused on fighting with Allen that you didn't know where anyone else was. Lenalee, you kept track of everyone's whereabouts very well, but you didn't use it to your advantage enough. You actually fought your best once Lavi was out of the fight. Allen and Kanda, you've learned to read each other very well. You each use the general strengths of the other to your advantage, and it looks like you've practiced some techniques. Overall, you are the best two-person team that we have. All four of you, we'll keep switching it up with two, three and four person teams. Improving the strongest teams is first priority, but keep improving your weaker combinations as well."

As Komui was going on, I knew there were many things I wanted to discuss with everyone. How we could improve from here. And looking around, I could tell that everyone else felt the same way. So Komui's summation was just a starting point, and from there we hammered down how much improved we thought we were, and revised what our training schedule should be.

"If the four of us need to be split into teams of two, the most well-balanced combination is still me and Allen, and Lenelee and Kanda. But if only two are needed on the field, then Allen and Kanda is the way to go," stated Lavi.

"Different situations will always call for different teams. But we don't usually see what we're up against in advance. So we all still need to work hard on doing well together. So, I agree with Komui on this," said  
Lenalee.

"Yes, there's no need to alter the routine we have set. Teamwork, stealth, strong body, strong mind and  
connection to our Innocence are all being trained," said Kanda. Then, “Our next team training is in a few days. All of us working together against Komui's obstacle course. We'll have to think about how to improve before then. In the meantime, we'll keep up the pace of visiting three to five towns per day in our search for accommodators." 

We managed to keep ten unclaimed pieces of Innocence for ourselves since we split from the Order, and we've been searching for future exorcists just as they always have. 

It grew silent then, and everyone was thinking pretty hard. When it got like this, it was best to go off on our own for a while, so I urged us to move along and said "Lenalee, would you like to take your turn first  
washing up in the lake we found?"

"Actually, Lavi and I were going to practice some more. So, you and Kanda can go ahead." Those two were in good enough spirits, but I could tell that they were being hard on themselves for losing the match. Not feeling the need to dissuade them from practice, I let them be. I offered for Komui to come along with us, but he had no interest. He was already reading from his piles of papers under a nearby tree.

I both looked forward to and dreaded the time alone with Kanda.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though I edited for better canon-compliance I kept Timcampy because I like him there.

Kanda's POV:

We walked side-by-side through the trees to lake. It was rare to spend a moment longer than necessary outside of the protection of the Ark, and I planned to enjoy the opportunity. As we approached our destination, I chanced a look at Allen, and could see that uncomfortable demeanor he sometimes gets around me. His eyes cast downward, cheeks slightly flushed, and shoulders dropped minutely. An expression that is contrary to the usually unbreakable self-confidence that I've come to expect from him. 

I figured out the reason a few months ago now, but he hasn't said a word that would truly confirm or deny my suspicions. Allen left the Black Order to fight his own way, and I trusted not only his reasons for doing so, but his character, enough to want to support him. (There are also my own reasons for disliking the actions of the Church of course.) The same goes for Lenalee, Lavi, Komui, Johnnie, and the handful of Finders that left with him.

There were many others that didn't come along with us, but I know would aid us if we needed the help. Noise and General Tiedoll are two of those people. I've learned a great deal about trusting in others this last months. It's still a constant internal battle for me, but I consider every one of our small band to be a true friend. So now when I see any of them demonstrating their true self, I no longer remove myself emotionally from the situation. We learn from each other, and though I struggle the whole way, I'm always glad to have followed through. I learned that Allen was polite with people he didn't know well because he saw how much it helped Mana in staying on everyone's good side; Lavi is earnestly still figuring out who he is but can be quite contemplative and he definitely isn’t what I first thought; Lenalee cares about all of the Order members like family; and Komui keeps a lot of seedy practices devised by the upper ranks away from his Branch.

But having gotten a foothold on friendship, the possibility of romance caught me completely unawares. I put it all together about three months ago, my feelings and his hints. And it took me a long time to figure out what to do with them - until two weeks ago. I decided I would do something about it. His sometimes-shy attitude doesn't suit him, so I've been putting us into situations that I hoped would break his silence and inaction. Doesn't he know that even if I didn't like him in that way - or men at all - that I wouldn't rebuke him? We've gone through far too much for that. But right now I feel as though I'm the one that will break first. Today will be the final battle, but there will either be two winners or two losers in the end.

The lake wasn't large; thirty feet across. And it was densely wooded all around. We took off our uniforms – still the same as the Black Order uniforms we're all used to except that the crest has a small ark in the center - and got into the lake, neither seeming to pay the other much mind. It felt so stupid that we were both pretending. We spent some minutes in silence, letting the day's training roll off of us, until I decided it was time to push him into action.

I stood up straight in the waist-deep water, and made a bit of a show out of rubbing a knot on the middle of my back. I would normally only ask for help on a knot much more painful that this one, but I doubted Allen would know the difference. I asked if he would help me out, and my call seemed to wake him from a trance.

He looked at me for a moment, and then accepted the request with a smile. The expression warmed me in its kindness. He made his way over to me with large steps through the water. I was glad to see that he was acting like himself, shyness forgotten.

I worked on the knot until he was next to me, and then I leaned my arms over the shear drop from the land to the lake. He moved my hair, still in a pony-tail, out the way and over my shoulder and started using his thumbs to work in the area he saw me massaging. His touch was light at first, feeling out the muscles. It made my mind calm and my heart speed up at the same time. And then, suddenly, he pushed hard at the knot that was there and didn't let the pressure up. It was painful at first, which I didn't express out-loud. But it wound up feeling quite good and though I was a little embarrassed to do so, I let out the moan of pleasure that I was fighting.

I could feel Allen hesitate, and in that moment I doubted myself. I doubted whether I should open up in this way to anyone, and I doubted whether I really knew that Allen would be receptive to it. But then he continued what he was doing, but not for the larger region he was covering before, but that very specific spot that caused my reaction. I was relieved by the acceptance, but then became afraid that I would be even more vocal before this massage was over. I was breathing more quickly and shallowly, I realized, in my holding back again. A part of me wanted to end this now and turn the tables on him, but I knew that this was important, not to mention pleasurable.

His breath came more quickly as well, and his chest sometimes pressed onto my back. I moaned low and deep when the urge hit me, and Allen didn't falter again. I stopped thinking little by little, and let my body relax even further. I wanted his hands to travel all over my body, and I wanted a chance to touch him too. I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted him to press his body more closely to mine. When the knot was worked out, I simply breathed in rhythm with his movements, which grew slower and slower until finally stopping.

"How's that?," he asked a little breathily, and I wanted to laugh in answer. Instead I turned  
around, face flushed and not caring, because his was too.

"Much better, thank you," I said, looking him in the eye. I could see that I had an effect on him, but he still seemed somewhat guarded. "I can return the favor by working on your shoulder," I offered.

He considered for a moment before accepting. He said he knew just the place to sit and swam over to where I called him over from before. I could see his body through the water as he swam and I allowed myself to watch him reach his destination before setting out after him. I swam too, and the water felt cool against my face. 

When I got there, he was sitting on a flat rock that put his shoulders at the same height as the middle of my chest. He reached his right hand over to his left shoulder and said, "It's really stiff from here," demonstrating the juncture of his neck and shoulder, "to here," sweeping his hand down to mid-bicep. "And here to here too," rubbing his upper chest and back near the shoulder.

I stepped behind him and used both hands to apply firm pressure on the left side of his neck and shoulder, adopting a slow pace. The hollow of his neck was so soft and I wondered what it would feel like against my lips. His posture slumped more and more as he relaxed, and his breathing became deep and slow. I focused lower down his shoulder, and after a couple of minutes moved low enough that my pinky felt the rougher skin of his weapon arm. I knew now more than ever that I wanted to know every piece of him that he wanted to show me. His body: soft and rough and scared and warm. His mind: much the same.

He wasn't enjoying his massage as much as I had enjoyed mine; more painful but more necessary for his recovery. So I thought of ways to fix that as well as I could. When I focused on his upper back, I leaned my body into him, barely touching. It was an effort to keep moving, as if I wasn't affected by the contact. As I massaged, my head dipped forward and the loose part of my hair wound up spilling over his shoulder, making him shutter. He leaned more fully against me, and I nearly gave in right then. I almost pulled him backwards and showed him all of the frustration I felt. But I didn't because this wasn't only lust that I felt towards him. If I was going to break first, I wanted to confess with some clothes on. Whatever followed that confession could be as passionate as we pleased.

I allowed myself to enjoy the closeness a little longer, and then I circled around so that I could massage his upper chest. I didn't move directly in front of him; my left side was essentially in line with his left side. When I resumed, he closed his eyes. I studied his features; pleasure and pain. When finished I asked, "Did I miss anything?"

Allen was slow to respond, but said, "No. Thank you, Kanda."

"I brought our share of sandwiches in my bag. Would you like to eat here?" It was a conscious decision on my part to bring the food, so that he wouldn't be in a hurry to go back. He perked up right away at the suggestion. "The shorter the wait the better, let's eat right now!"

He was dried and clothed first, but he waited for me to open my bag and retrieve our lunches. Being a crystal-type, I get much hungrier than I used to, but no one holds a candle to Allen's appetite. When I finished my meal, I listened for the others. They were still practicing, which was a relief to me. I felt good on a full stomach, and I image that the same was true for Allen.

I broached the subject in an indirect way that I hoped could be led in the right direction. I voiced a recent theory of mine that I haven't brought up to anyone yet. "Allen, I've been thinking about our progress and how much stronger we've become, especially during an actual fight against akuma and the Noah. Maybe how well exorcists know each other or like each other could have an effect on how well their Innocence works together when they combine their strength."

He thought for a minute and said, "It's possible. At least for parasitic and crystal-types, which respond to the emotions of their Accommodators. That's a great observation. We should ask Komui and Johnnie to look at our training and mission data to see if any evidence can be found." Then after some silence, he said in an interested voice, "I wonder how we could train our Innocence to be more powerful together than apart, if that's true. Just spend more time together? Or tell each other their deepest dreams and fears?"

My heart beat hard as I realized this was my chance. "I thought of it when I realized that my Innocence feels a little different when I'm fighting closely with you. I'm not sure if that difference made us stronger, or if our teamwork was just better though."

He looked at me seriously, and for a long time. He turned his body to face me directly and scooted forward so that we were just two feet apart. I tucked my legs so that he could do so. "I think it's because…I like you." He was about to explain further, his mouth open, but he stopped. He must have been able to tell from my face that I understood exactly what he meant, and that I wasn't about to slice in him half with my sword.

I was happy, even happier than I thought those words would make me, and I showed him how much. I leaned forward, my self-imposed restraint lifted, and kissed him soundly. His lips were so soft. He kissed back immediately and thrills ran through my entire body. I moaned into his mouth at the contact, and he moaned in response. I moved my body close, never breaking the kiss. My legs wound up on either side of him, bent at the knees. His tongue licked my bottom lip, making me groan. My tongue met his and they swirled together in a give-and-take that felt so wonderful that I thought I could never get enough. 

My fingers ran through his hair, still damp from the lake, then the sides of his face, and around his back, pressing him closer still. Allen grabbed at my neck in response; then felt down my chest, up my arms, to my face. After some time, he reluctantly pulled away, breathing heavily.

He looked at me with dilated eyes, and then turned to the side. "Timcampy, go to Lenalee," he called out.

His golem was ten feet from us and I could see him turning back and forth, nodding 'no', and refusing to listen to his master.

Allen was slightly annoyed, but tried something else. "Fine. Just don't record us unless you sense danger."

Timcampy turned around then, and started to scan our surroundings instead of us.

Understanding Allen's reasoning, I reached up to my ear and changed the setting to the device that I wore. We usually kept them on a setting which recorded all audio and allowed our team members to talk with us as the need arose. The privacy setting stopped the recording and acted more like a telephone in that it must be answered. Allen did the same, and we looked at each other once again.

It wasn't difficult to pick up where we left off. "I like you too," I said even though it was probably obvious. I thought he might like to hear the words.

In response, he gave me an open look of happiness. I reveled in the feelings that look gave me, until he leaned forward to recaptured my lips. We kissed deeply and our hands were always moving. We kept it up for a long time. I was hard, but was trying to ignore it. One step at a time, and I would enjoy every one.

I nibbled on his neck, and it made him gasp. I wanted to taste more of him and, remembering  
my earlier desire to explore the hollow of his neck, I kissed him more and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his jacket. I stopped my hands a moment, in case he wanted to protest, but he just placed my hand to the next button in response. When I was done, my left arm pushed the material off of his shoulder and I bent my head, letting my lips ghost over his skin. I licked at that soft skin, and then bit on it gently. I took my time giving attention to that spot, and then I licked up his neck. His lips met mine and we kissed more hungrily than before. My hands explored his exposed chest and abdomen, and his hands unbuttoned my jacket, never letting our tongues part. I felt his lean muscle and soft skin with the roughness of his scars.

When my buttons were undone, he wasted no time at pushing the jacket off my shoulders and out of the way. He broke the kiss and looked in admiration at me, piece by piece, finishing by tracing my tattoo, which now included half of my torso, with his eyes. I took the opportunity to do the same to him. I liked the expression on his face: dazed yet serious. He's become a very attractive man, from the angles of his face to the fitness of his body. Our arousals were evident through our pants. His smile showed both embarrassment and anticipation. But I had no such feelings of embarrassment anymore.

Done with merely looking, he reached out his right hand, his fingers lightly grazed over my chest and stomach. Then using his left hand on my shoulder to support him, he leaned in and licked and sucked all the skin he could find. His tongue was so warm and wet. Everything he touched left aftershocks behind him. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the attention.

After he spent some time biting on my ear, the accumulation of sensations made me feel like I couldn't hold still any longer. I kissed him hard and removed his jacket completely. I pushed against him and he slowly leaned back. I followed until he was lying on the ground and I was flush against him. I could feel his heated skin against mine, and I could also feel his erection pressing into the lower part of my stomach. We molded together, pulling on each other to be as close as possible.

I ground against him, with more instinct than conscious thought. I knew as time went on I would continue to think less and less, but I accepted that without much trouble. The outside world didn't matter right now. I moved up his body enough that our erections were aligned and we were able to continue our manic kisses.

Once positioned that way, he started grinding back in time with my movements. We moaned and gasped into each other's mouths. He put his arms around my neck so that we moved even more fluidly. I could feel my orgasm building but I didn't want it end, so I slowed us down considerably.

Allen's POV:

I never dared hope that things could go this well. I would never have guessed this morning that by the afternoon I would have Kanda on top of me touching me so desperately, after telling me that he in fact liked me as well. I wasn't analyzing it; there would be time for that later. But I did have the suspicion that he's been playing with me for weeks and that it wasn't my imagination after all. The thought endeared me to him all the more, somehow.

The reason I hadn't been more direct with him was because I had no idea how he would respond. Some people found the thought of homosexuality to be wrong or abnormal. Those same people consider it to be unholy. Growing up with circus-folk and then the sort of people General Cross associated with, the people around me were rather liberal minded. But even they still laughed and made jokes behind closed doors. The types of people that live in towns and have families and normal jobs, however, are quick to judge and condemn. Then there are the people who make up the Order. In them I find the most diversity. The Pope says that it's sinful, but some of the exorcists themselves tend to be rather self-indulgent in general. General Cross's debauchery is in fact legendary. So how to judge one sin against another? I was reluctant to find out what Kanda's conclusions were. And I wasn't confident in my friend's judgments either, so I confided in no one.

When I look within myself for the answer, I think I feel the same as anyone who has found a love interest. Not abnormal at all. No one had ever made me feel this strongly before, and I've met many people in my life. I have many great friends, but this is something else entirely. But…I couldn't shake the notion that maybe those condemning people knew something that I didn't. What if my Innocence felt that I betrayed God's mission and turned against me?

But here I was. Kanda likes me too. The connection to my Innocence felt stronger than ever, not weaker. It thrummed in agreement with me, even more than it does when I'm helping others or when I'm with my closest friends. The doubts that I felt mingled with my excitement earlier have vanished. I'm focusing only on how great it is to be close to him. I was also able to ignore the pain in my shoulder quite easily.

He rocked more slowly against me, and it was for the best because I couldn't have been far from coming. But even though I came so close, I felt constricted by my pants. Things could be better still, so I set to make it that way. Still holding onto Kanda with one arm, I put my other arm between us and felt for the button of his pants.

His eyes were closed with his enjoyment written all over his face, and when he noticed what I was doing he looked me in the eye, and gave me a look as if making sure I knew what I was doing. I gave him a smirk then, which he reciprocated. He also put a little more distance between our bodies. Encouraged, I continued with what I was doing. I pulled down the fly and his hot, hard cock all but fell into my hand. The bastard wasn't wearing any underwear. He laughed at my surprise, but sobered quickly as I gripped him more firmly, leaving a happy smirk behind.

My fingers traveled gently over his length; erection so hard but skin so soft. It looked like he was having trouble keeping his position hovering over me. All of a sudden, he pushed himself up until he was sitting on the ground. He reached his hand out to invite me to do the same. I did so quickly and put my hand in his. He pulled me up and we were both sitting face to face, and as close as two people can sit together. My legs were out to either side of Kanda's body, and his legs were spread out over mine.

I could now see what I was only feeling before - His member was protruding proudly out of his pants. He pulled at my pants and pushed at my underwear, freeing my own straining erection. It was a great relief. He looked as if fascinated before reaching out to take hold of me. I wasn't prepared for how good it felt.  
I grabbed him in turn, and we fell into a slow pace that was in sync with each other's strokes. I leaned forward and kissed him with everything I had. We seemed to be well in tune. One of us would move faster, and the other would follow. We did as well as we could with spitting into our hands, but without better lubrication we were running into trouble.

I heard Kanda say "Fuck it", and before I could question what he meant his mouth was around my cock. I yelled out in surprise and pleasure. The all-encompassing warmth, the massaging of his tongue, and the knowledge that it was Kanda all rolled together through my body. He tore away at the rest of my clothes and when he resumed his hands helped his mouth bringing me closer and closer to the brink. I lay back, unable to do anything but moan and writhe under his concentrated efforts. With my eyes closed tightly as they were, I couldn't tell exactly what he was doing, but there was no part of me that felt neglected by his touch. When I finally did manage to look I could see him sucking me moving his head up and down my length. He had grabbed my cock in one hand at the base, reaching where his mouth couldn't. His other hand was rubbing my balls, first one and then the other. He looked up at me then with his blazing eyes, and the combined effect made me helpless to resist the orgasm that tore through my body. I cried out and my body bowed with my back lifting off the ground. He held me down at the hips and his mouth stayed firmly around me until I slid bonelessly back to the ground. He licked gently with his tongue then and coaxed another spurt of cum from me.

I laid there stupefied for a long time, looking up into the sky. I could hear sparring going on in the background, my ability to notice the things around me returning. When I could move again, I searched around for Kanda and saw that he was kneeling back at the bank of the lake, washing his face. I admired his profile as I walked up to him. I also took the time to plan how to make sure that he was every bit as satiated as I was.

When he turned to face me, the intensity of the want in his eyes was overwhelming. He stood up and met me with a demanding kiss. I reached to the back of his head and undid the tie that held his hair back.

Whatever reproach I was expecting for doing that never came. I ran my hands through his hair as I kissed him. He pressed himself against me and I could feel his need.

I parted my lips from his and then pulled down his pants, which were still undone from earlier. He stepped out and I discarded them. While I was on my knees, I gave his member an experimental lick. He gasped and grit his teeth. I could tell he wanted me to get on with it but he didn't say so. I surrounded the head with my mouth and rolled my tongue around it. His balance faltered some, and then I remembered my plan.

I stood up, grabbed his arm, and jerked my head towards the lake to point where I wanted us to go. I led him to a shear edge and told him to sit down, legs in the water. I backed away still looking at him and did a flip into the water. I had a lot of nervous energy, and I suppose I was also showing off. I swam to where he sat and when I got near he opened his legs wider so that I could stand in-between them. As I had hoped, it was a convenient position. The tip of his erection was an inch below my chin when I stood up straight in the water.

He bent at the waist and kissed me again. I stretched my neck to meet him and stroked him lightly with my hands. When he pulled his lips away, I bent down and licked him from all angles. My hands stayed on his legs at first. It moved with me a little when my tongue would push against it from the sides. I was fascinated and took great care with what I was doing. I loved the unintelligible sounds he was making and when it seemed like he needed more, I fisted my right hand at his base and put my mouth around him as far as I could go. He moaned in appreciation. I moved my head up and down the shaft just as I saw him do to me. I sucked with my mouth and moved slowly. I thought I must be enjoying this just as much as he was. It was a revelation that I could feel so empowered and sexy and happy all at once. 

It felt like he leaned back on his hands a little, but I didn't look. I used my other hand to run through the hair that surrounded his base and then to massage his balls. After a time he put his hands on my good shoulder and his grip got tighter and tighter along with the quickening of his breath. I sped up my pace a bit more and held it there. I heard him speak my name right before his cum filled my mouth. I continued to suck, coaxing out everything he had. I swallowed it without any thought. I looked up at him and smiled broadly.

He pushed off the edge he was sitting on so that he stood directly in front of me in the water. He initiated a long, slow, lazy kiss and our bodies melted against each other. Our naked bodies flush together was a wonderful feeling. 

He leaned his forehead against mine and we stayed that way until our breathing slowed back to normal.  
We switched the devices on our ears back to their default positions, took another quick dip in the lake, dressed and packed up. 

We didn't talk about what had happened; just gave each other knowing glances of various intensities. There would be time enough for discussions later. We already took much longer to "bathe" than was reasonable, even when factoring in the time it takes to each lunch. I called Timcapy to me and we made our way back to the others. I stopped hearing the sound of clashing weapons and breaking rock  
some time along the walk. When we tried to think of a reason that we could offer to the others as to why we would take so long, the best I could come up with is that we fell asleep. When we tried to think of a reason why we would both switch to privacy mode, we came up short…


	3. Chapter 3

Allen's POV:

When we met up with Lenalee, Lavi and Komui the first two were having their lunch and Komui was still reading through papers and writing in the margins. Kanda and I sat down on the grass with them so that the five of us formed a loose circle. We exchanged pleasantries and then fell silent as Lavi and Lenalee ate, until Komui brought up what was obviously on all of their minds. 

"You shouldn't keep your privacy settings on for so long while outside of the Ark. This is something we all agreed to" said Komui in a careless voice without looking up.

"That's right. If you were both ran into trouble – which is a very real possibility, we might not have been able to help you in time or know what happened until it was too late," added Lenalee in a put-out voice.

As expected, their words made me feel guilty. I pushed down the urge to lash back and remind them that they could have called us at any time if they were worried. "I'm sorry. If we wanted to talk off-the-record, we should have waited until we got back to the Ark." Thinking back to what we were doing instead of talking, though, I didn't regret the slip in protocol.

"What was so important to talk about anyway? It took you long enough to come back, "probed Lavi in the upbeat and nosy tone of voice than earned him the nickname of 'Rabbit'.

I knew he was being annoying on purpose to get us to speak up. I was starting to get irritated and it showed in my voice. "What would be the point of going offline if I told you all about it the second we came back?" Truth be told, the bad mood may have something to do with the fact that I didn't know how they would react to the truth.

"Touchy, touchy," he said to me with placating arms. "Hey Kanda, what do you have to say about all of this?"

I thought he gave up on those obnoxious methods of getting information, at least where we were concerned. 

"Shut up", was Kanda's only response. I could see him distancing himself from the conversation, but he had a slight flush to his cheeks.

In that moment, I resolved not to let this dishonesty drag out too long. Either we acknowledge this and tell them in a few days, or agree that it's not worth the risks. Kanda has come so far with opening up to us all. I don't want to see him back-track. Also, this team can't afford a rift of any sort if we're going to end this war.

Inspiration hit me, and to smooth things over I told a partial truth. "We came up with an interesting theory about how strong we've been getting while fighting in teams, but we need a few days to work it out a bit further." It really was true that I wanted to explore Kanda's idea.

Komui's head jerked up at this. "A theory? What is it? I can help you work it out," he said while trying very hard to hide his excitement.

"I'm sure we can use your help Komui, but give it a few days, like I said." I barely resisted giving them that smile that they can all see through. Something like that would have made them more suspicious than anything that's happed so far in this conversation. Looking around: Lavi seemed curious while trying not to look curious, Lenalee was vaguely sad, Komui seemed a little devious – a troubling outcome, and Kanda looked like he wanted to get the hell out of here. On that note, I suggested that we all head back to the Ark. The sun was starting to set anyhow.

On the Ark, everyone essentially had their own Room which they made into houses, and we barely used up one percent of the space. The central building was all common area for training, research, and eating our meals. It went dark at 8pm and light again at 6am Paris time. We trained, looked for accommodators, and looked for any new information we could get on how to end this war.

After dinner we four exorcists practiced our meditation. We've improved greatly over the past year thanks to Kanda's tutelage on the subject. Instead of allowing what happed between Kanda and me today to be a distraction, I made it the subject of my thoughts. I envisioned what would likely happen if we chose to ignore this romantic connection. I then envisioned what would likely happen if we both agreed to give it a try.

There would be difficulties and rewards either way, and when I balanced them all against each other, admittedly giving extra weight to our happiness, I knew that I wanted this to happen. But to mitigate as many risks as possible, we needed to be honest with ourselves and our friends. And in return, the horrors we face could be more tolerable, and we could each make the other a better person.

When I opened my eyes again, only Kanda and I were in the room.

Kanda's POV:

The focus of my meditation was our earlier sparing session. Was I progressing adequately for us to win our ever more difficult battles? Was the group progressing enough? Were our strategies sound? In answering these questions, my thoughts inevitably turned to Allen, the glue that held this band together. The man responsible for all of the major advantages that we currently have, and the one best able to use them. And once my thoughts did turn to him, I inevitably thought about all of the wonderful things he did to me today and his responses when I did things to him.

Knowing I wouldn't be able to concentrate any longer, I gave up and opened my eyes slowly. Glancing around the room, I could see that Lenalee and Lavi had left. We all began our meditation sitting in the lotus position side-by-side and facing the front of the room. Allen was now sitting facing me with that confident expression that I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait too long to see.

"I was just going to go to the piano room. Will you join me, Kanda?" The doorway appeared in the front of the room. He got up and held out his hand. As I took it and rose to my feet I simply said, "Yea". We walked through the door and were in that oddly white room. He motioned that I should sit on the couch and as I did so I stretched my arm over the back and placed one ankle on my other leg.

He sat in silence on the piano bench with his eyes closed for a few minutes and I knew he must be checking up on everything within the Ark. When he opened his eyes again, images flashed quickly on the far wall: street views, training and research areas, vacant rooms. They were various places within the  
Ark but I could never tell what he was looking for before the point of view switched to someplace else. 

When I looked back at Allen, I was startled by the tell-tale gray skin. I had known, logically, that he must lean on his Noah sometimes, but I'd never seen him do it so seamlessly. It made me a little on edge.  
He started explaining what he was doing, in a voice slightly more aloof than he would normally use but was definitely still Allen, "When I concentrate, I can mostly feel whether everyone who is supposed to be is on board, so I do that first. Then I try to sense and see if there are any intruders. It's becoming easier all the time to tune-in to the Ark's abilities." He paused a moment to reflect. "Anyway, I'm done now. All clear." He turned to me with those yellow eyes.

The best way to feel more at ease will be to understand this part of him more than I do now. Given our changing relationship, I felt more confident in asking more than I would have before today. "Just now, did you change on purpose, or was it a subconscious reaction to using the Ark?"

He gave me a look of surprise and then raised his right hand to stare at it. He eventually responded, "It was conscious, but I guess I've kind of gotten used to doing it without much thought." He looked back at me and then closed his eyes in concentration. In just a few seconds he looked like himself again. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but this is part of who I am." His now gray eyes were urging for my understanding.

I was angry because it seemed like he was challenging me to back away. "Che. Of course I know that."  
His expression didn't change though, as if he was unconvinced. I looked into myself and thinking more about it, my answer showed that I wanted to ignore this part of him or treat it as unimportant. But the truth was so complicated. How can I express all of that? I felt some panic at the idea of trying. Allen wouldn't push for me to speak if I didn't want to, but we wouldn't learn to understand each other if I didn't. It wasn't even that I didn't want to, I was just afraid. And an exorcist that gave in to fear wasn't worth anything.

He started to speak, and it sounded like this fragile thing we were building might fracture. "It's alright,  
Kanda. You don't have to…"

And the panic of losing my chance was worse than my previous panic of taking that chance. "No…just…hold on." I took a deep breath, leaned forward, and continued, "I know that you're in control of yourself, and that you stay in control when you do that. But you act a bit different. You, but different. And it makes you look like our enemy, who have tortured and killed so many of us. And who want to destroy the world as we know it. And you must understand that, because you don't transform in front of just anyone if you can help it. That you show this part of yourself to me means that you trust me. You're trust isn't misplaced...So, your gray skin and less emotional face bother me. But I want to know more about you so that they won't anymore." I felt drained and raw when I was done, but I continued to look him in the eye.

Allen smiled. "I'll be happy to answer your questions, and I would like to understand you better, too…I do feel the unease from the others. But, they all try. I like to think there are no secrets among us here, but there are some things we just don't talk about. Thank you Kanda, I can always count on your honesty."

"It was easier to be honest when I didn't care how you felt about what I told you." 

"I'll keep that in mind," he said warmly.

Encouraged by how things were going I asked something else. "What do you mean by 'feel' and 'sense' the people in the Ark?"

Just as he said, he seemed all too happy to answer. He thought a moment and said, "It's really hard to explain, but every presence on the Ark can be detected by me when I think hard enough. It's different from the normal five senses. But I know who belongs here and who doesn't. I can even feel a cat and two dogs that came on board last week."

I felt irritated at the news that someone would find pets to bring aboard a war base. People acting as if this was their civilian home pissed me off. "Who brought them on board?"

"You're angry aren't you?" he said with a smile. "You've gotten better at hiding it but I can still tell."

Since he got me pegged, I let it show more clearly on my face. "I still get angry about the same basic things I always have; the only difference is that I've been able to hold it in much better." And when I get mad that people talk to me, I'm more likely to regret it now; and then I'm glad that I didn't scare them off right away. Many of the Finders with us today have been around for the past year, and don't even know the full depths of my anger.

He laughed at that, and I actually felt calmer as a result. I like being in the presence of his good-natured attitude. Today probably takes the record for the least time spent angry all-around anyway. 

"I only have a hunch of who it was, but I'm not going to tell you if you're just going to yell at them. It's harmless to keep the animals, and it makes the Finders happy."

I didn't feel like arguing so I said nothing.

"Do you still get mad at me too?" Allen asked.

"Do you really want to know?" I made it sound as though he wouldn't like the answer, but I was really just trying to avoid talking about how I felt about things that involved him. I would have to stop doing that so much…

Allen considered for a moment before saying that he did. It was an honest curiosity that he deserved an answer to.

"Less often than I should." His expression showed that he wanted me to elaborate so pushing through the discomfort, and ignoring the growing flush to my face, I continued. "The more I get to know and understand you, the more I respect and agree with you. I get angry when you encourage me to socialize, but I also realize that you're trying to make me a more well-rounded person. Everyone here looks to you not just because you're strong and captain this Ark, but because you naturally want us all to keep growing. I had his full attention and his eyes were wide while he listened to me. I had so much I could tell him but I just wanted to scratch the surface today. I wasn't sure if I was answering his question anymore, but I needed to say it and he needed to hear it. "And then there are the reasons beyond logic. I'm in a better mood when you're around. And I would rather focus my energy on understanding you than being or staying angry." And to take some of the vulnerability out of my words I said, "But don't think you're immune now. I'll still be the first person to tell you when you're acting stupid."

He walked over and set next to me on the couch. "I wouldn't have it any other way", he replied with a blush to his cheeks. "So you want to see where this leads between us? I sure do." Just like that, we were no longer dancing around the issue that was in the back of our minds this whole time. We'd been feeling each other out, and it seems he's made his decision.

In response, I leaned forward, grabbed the sides of his head and kissed him. It was a kiss full of promise and optimism. 

I pulled back after a few moments, and when Allen opened his eyes he said, "That's a yes, then."

"Yes, that's a 'yes'. You can take all of my kisses as a 'yes' if you like, for future reference."

He smiled. "I'll add that to my 'Kanda-language handbook'." Then his smile became more teasing. "You have a different look and pose for so many phrases, like: 'I would rather be left alone than anywhere near you.', and 'Do you have to act so ridiculous, it's embarrassing?', and 'You're not training right now because you're lazy', and…"

I kissed him again to interrupt him and when I was done I said, "And this kiss means 'shut up'.

"Hmm, on second thought I should just make a new handbook, not add to the one I have. I should call it the 'Sexy-Kanda-language handbook'.

I kissed him yet again more demandingly, plunging my tongue into his mouth and leaning over him so that his head tilted up to meet me. My arms grabbed his shoulders, and his arms wrapped around my waist. It took us much longer to part this time, but when we did I asked breathlessly "And what does that kiss mean?"

When he caught his own breath enough he said, "It means 'I'm insatiable when it comes to Allen Walker'.

Then we smiled at each other stupidly.

A few minutes later the clock tower struck 11, which was the time that we were meant to go to bed. It was more of a suggestion than a rule, but our days were always quite full. Of course there was no actual clock tower. It was just the sound of one that resounded across the Ark at 6 am and 11 pm each day.

We looked regrettably at each other and then I faced forward on the couch in preparation to stand up. Allen caught my wrist though, and when I turned back to him he said, "We'll have to tell the others." I could feel a new panic rise up in me when he said it. "I've thought it through, and the cohesion of the team would suffer if we don't." He searched my eyes, as though he thought this news might make me want to forget the whole thing. "They'll know that something is different, and if they don't know what it is, doubts will form. I don't know how they might react, but it's better to face those reactions head on, at a time of our choosing. It doesn't have to be tomorrow but within a few days, I think." I knew he was right.

It wasn't the fact of them knowing about us that bothered me. Rather, it was the thought of the exact moment when they did find out. After letting these people really get to know me, I didn't want to be subject to their ridicule, or even their teasing in an attempt at a joke. When they didn't know me, I could get mad at them and tell myself they didn't understand anything. Now after pulling back the layers for them to see, their reactions could hurt.

Allen pulled me from my thoughts. "Kanda, you're going to have to tell me what you're thinking for this one."

I looked back at him and gave my answer. "You're right. But we'll tell them individually rather than all-together. I don't want everyone feeding off of each other's idiocy."

Allen looked relieved. But a moment later he wore an impish grin. "So, how about three days of being sneaky first. This will be fun!" He got the same look in his eye as he does when he gambles. Allen has a strange sense of excitement sometimes, but since I was involved in his scheme I didn't doubt that it would indeed be fun.

"We could treat it like an exercise in stealth," I encouraged.

"Yes! And I'll use the Ark to my full advantage, too. I've never really challenged myself in that way. Come to think of it, we're all supposed to be building our strengths, and I've ignored this as a strength until now. The challenge is to have one date per day without anyone finding out or becoming suspicious!"

"I just remembered, Timcampy is a liability here."

"I already told him to avoid Komui until I say otherwise."

"I'll leave the first date up to you, then. Well, now that that's settled, I'll be going to bed." I kissed him one more time. When our lips parted, a doorway appeared. When I came out the other side, I was in the bedroom of my house.

I touched my fingers to my lips and wondered at it all.


	4. Chapter 4

Allen's POV:

Our day proved long but uneventful. Lavi and I visited five towns and though there was the occasional level 1 or 2 akuma, we didn't come across an accommodator. As we walked, I taught him how to sense when the Innocence pieces were reacting to someone. Since I was the only one that was any good at it, I've taken to explaining it to the other exorcists. Without a real demonstration, though, it was very hard to learn. Kanda and Lenalee were elsewhere, checking up on a faint lead on one of remaining three undiscovered pieces of Innocence.

Just as Lavi and I were finishing our report to Komui, Kanda and Lenalee walked in and joined us. We all wound up pretty disappointed at the continuation of our unlucky streak. No new Innocence, no new accommodators, no leads about what comes next, and we took a major loss of three Finders about a week ago. It made me want to fight all the harder and also to make certain that we didn't screw up the things that we did have going for us.

For our first date, I stole Kanda away mid-step while he was walking alone along a hallway in the tower. The looks of confusion, followed by anger, followed by amusement on his face were priceless. We were in an unused Room away from the houses. It was completely blank, and white walled. As a way to introduce what I had in mind, I reminded him that I could make it look however I wanted, and then asked what he wanted me to do with it.

He looked at the blankness for a long time, and didn't come up with an answer.

"This isn't a life and death decision," I said teasingly. "Besides, I'm sure this won't be the only time I offer this choice to you. What's the first thing that pops into your head?"

After some more thought he said while continuing to look at a white wall, "I remember enjoying the cherry blossom festival in Edo in my fist life, before I became an Exorcist. Can you make that?" When he looked at me I could tell it really did have meaning for him. How could I refuse? I guess Kanda really doesn't do whimsical – I should have figured.

"I don't know what that's supposed to look like, and I need to in order for me to make it. Do you have a picture of those trees?"

"I have a book." We had to go back to his home for a minute. When I finally took a look at the picture he showed me, realization hit me and I said, "Oh yea. I remember those trees from the time right before we took the Ark."

"Yes. Actually, we may have been the last humans to see them in that country." If he was sad at the loss he didn't show it, but I put a hand on his shoulder anyway.

It took around 15 minutes to set the scene. I made ten unique trees and copied them over and over again so that there were over 200 of them. Kanda instructed me to add bridges, streams, and grass. I made the sky a clear blue with just a few clouds. Once I was done, I let the petals starts to fall.

Maybe he thought it was a silly request at first, if his hesitation to say it was any indication, but I didn't think so. It was rather beautiful. He seemed lost in thought, and I didn't disturb him. I looked ahead at what we had made. He walked forward slowly into the midst of it and I followed, interesting in the effect the scene had on him. When he stopped to examine one of the trees up close, I did the same. On impulse I paid it close attention and gave it more detail. The limbs became more unique with twists and bends, and the bark became thicker and more wrinkled.

Perhaps I became more involved in what I was doing than I thought. Kanda meshed his fingers with mine, which was quite a nice surprise, and pulled me along. He made no move to let go. It was such a simple gesture, and yet it made my heart race.

When we grew tired of walking we sat on the grass next to each other, facing opposite directions. Kanda took that opportunity to speak. "I was 17 and living in Edo with my parents and grandparents. I asked a local girl to go to the festival with me. My parents wanted me to marry her, but the idea of marriage didn’t interest me then. She wore a lavender kimono and used a parasol. She smiled easily and it always made me want to smile too. She would tell me stories about the people she met since the last time I saw her and I would listen to her voice, not much caring about the people she talked about…It seems I've recovered a sweet memory. Thank you for all of this." He looked very peaceful.

"It's my pleasure. Really. So, did you kiss her?" I asked, looking at him with a mischievous smile.

He thought for a moment, and then smiled so large his teeth showed. "Yes, I think I did." He's going to prove himself more and more irresistible every day.

I began with, "Not that I'm trying to outshine your recovered memories, but…" and then I smoothly leaned closer and kissed him. The kiss was so sweet. Surprisingly so. It definitely took the crown as the best I ever had. After I savored it I changed the mood and continued talking with a raised eyebrow. "You missed my first kiss, though plenty of others were there to witness it."

"Ah, you mean Road? You don't really count that do you?"

"No, not really. Once I realized what she was doing I barely stopped myself from tearing her apart."

"I would have."

"No doubt, Kanda." I sighed. "It was a tense situation. I went with the path of least resistance to getting our asses home."

"So then you're real first kiss would be with…" he guided.

"Lenalee." He looked as if I confirmed his suspicion.

"Why didn't that work out? Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"When all was said and done, she couldn't love me once I became a Noah."

He paused. "So you loved her?"

"Yes." I thought he might ask another question but he didn't, leaving me to fill the silence. "Perhaps we could have been together in another life. But not this one."

"Another life, huh? I'll advise you that having a second life isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"No? We'll see if we can change that for you." I said with a smile.

The clock tower chimed then, marking the end of the night. So just for the heck of it, I let the cherry blossom petals fall in a flurry of activity making us both laugh.

Then I joked that I wouldn't create a door for him until I got a kiss goodnight. He really does hate being at a disadvantage, even as a game, even when the toll is something he would have given me anyway, so in revenge he gave me what I asked for and then some.


	5. Chapter 5

Kanda's POV:

Allen and I were walking around in the second town of the morning – this one on the American frontier, when he suddenly stopped short. He reached into the bag that was hanging across his shoulder and pulled out one of the pieces of Innocence. As it sat cupped in his hand, hovering slightly as they tend to do, he looked at it carefully and then closed his eyes. After a moment, he came to a conclusion. "This piece is reacting," he said softly. "It’s accommodator is in this town." He handed it over to me and said, "Here, take a closer look. It's as if it's vibrating very quickly."

"I see it," I said. "But I might not have if you didn't tell me what to look for."

"It's easy to miss. But more significantly, it also gave off a feeling of need. That's what made me want to look at it, and a lot of people have trouble with noticing it. Can you feel it?"

I didn't. So I concentrated harder. But I still didn't sense anything out of the ordinary – outside of the realm of what I've felt from Innocence before. "No. It feels the same as any other piece of Innocence."

"Let me see if I can describe it then. It's like the senses I get from normal Innocence, but even more  
exaggerated. Warmth. Strength. But especially the yearning."

I closed my eyes and tried again. "It's always been vague for me. Maybe this one does give off a stronger sense but I can't say for sure."

"That's alright. I want Lenalee and Lavi to have the chance too, so we'll all come back here together. Try again to feel its normal state when we get back to the Ark, and one last time here before we find our accommodator."

I nodded and handed it back to him. "We have to meet our spy right now anyway."

"Don't make it sound so devious, Kanda," he said. "We're meeting an old friend."

"That's not how Central Command would see it."

"You're right about that." He looked at the clock in the town square. "Let's head to the rendezvous point."

We stood in the nearby woods, just a little off the beaten trail. The gate to the Ark was a few minutes' walk from there. We were going to meet with Noise Marie and find out how the Black Order and its members have been fairing.

He spoke first with a smile and hand on my shoulder. "It's been too long."

My answer was short but true. "Yes, it has."

He then moved on to Allen, throwing his arm around Allen's shoulders. "And here's the center off all of the controversy himself. Good to see you, Allen." 

"Good to see you too. Shall we go? We'll be able to catch up with each other more easily on the Ark."

"I wanted to tell you first," he said excitedly to me when we reached the other side. "Miranda and I married a couple of months ago".

Though I knew the two of them had become close, I was still surprised by the news. I'm sure my eyes were wide in reaction. I couldn't understand how she made him happy but I knew that he was. I thought Miranda was rather annoying and absentminded, and I've expressed that opinion many times over. At one point Noise made it clear that I should shut up about it; that was the maddest I've ever seen him. It took us a month to start talking again, but eventually he told me what he liked about her. I still didn't really understand, but I decided not to bring it up again.

I searched for the words, and eventually said, "I'm glad you’re happy, Noise."

He gave me a knowing smile.

After the initial commotion from coming onboard, we sat together around the meeting table: Noise, Allen, Komui, Johnnie, Lenalee, Lavi, me, and the two Finder squad leaders named Michael and Bruno. The leaders commanded the other Finders while they performed missions that didn't include any exorcists, and were also in charge of the training of all Finders.

Komui began the conversation, "No one will be expecting you for a while, Noise?"

"No. General Tiedoll was feeling a little sick this morning, so I suggested that he sleep in. And it's because of that opportunity that I contacted you right away for a meeting," he responded.

"It's actually very fortunate that we came to the town you were in. Before we met up with you, a piece of Innocence responded to someone in that town," said Allen.

Everyone was surprised by that news. We hadn't told them yet. Komui was the first to speak, "Did you make contact the accommodator?"

"No, not yet. I wanted to give Lenalee and Lavi the chance to sense how different the Innocence feels when it's close to its accommodator. Also, we didn't want to be late for the rendezvous. We can all go back there later today," Allen said to everyone.

"We shouldn't wait too long, even though the enemy doesn't know anything about it. Also, the news shouldn't leave this room," I said. There was silence, and then agreement from all at the table.

Noise spoke up then. "I think you all should know, Central has been giving us some orders that have been leaving us scratching our heads."

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"Well, mostly teams in the field are still left on our own to decide how to proceed. But once in a while, we'll get orders that don't make much sense. Recently, General Tiedoll and I were told to go to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in the United States, but were never told what we were looking for. We were already in the country so it didn't take long." This was just verification that we were better off leaving the Order.

Allen had a look of recognition on his face. "I was there with Lenalee about two weeks ago, but only for one day."

"We got the order…13 days ago. When we reported nothing of interest, we continued traveling Southwest."

"They're trying to keep tabs on us?" Allen asked. They were wasting their resources tracking us? Their interest in us is ridiculous and unfounded when compared to the dangers of the Noah family.

"More importantly, how did they know to look in Philadelphia? As leaks go, the best case is that the wireless isn't as secure as I thought. The worst case scenarios…" Komui said thoughtfully and trailed off. There were quite a few that I could think of. 

"I don't know if they're trying to find you, but I do know that they don't trust you," Noise said.

"What about everyone else's trust? Our friends?" Lenalee asked.

"Your friends are still your friends," he confirmed. "And they wouldn't be your enemy without seeing good evidence that you want to hurt them, or destroy the world or something. Me, Miranda, Krory, General Tiedoll, Section Chief Reever, and Division Chief Bak Chan are included at the very least. And you’re still covered at home, Komui. Central doesn’t know you’re gone thanks to Reever’s efforts." 

Komui nodded thankfully at the confirmation, even though it wasn’t really necessary. Reever would have told him to get his ass home if it came down to it. But…if they do have a spy among them, then Komui’s involvement may be known by Central.

"If General Tiedoll is an ally, then why wouldn't he come here as well since he's traveling with you?" Michael asked.

"The Generals are under the most scrutiny by Central Command. I'll tell him only what he needs to know right now," Noise looked at everyone in the room "– mostly whether you're still on the righteous path, and whether you need support. But when the day comes that you need him, he'll be there. We'll all be there."

"You make it sound like you think we'll be the ones to end this war," Allen said uncomfortably. I knew that Allen thought it might be true, but he certainly didn't want everyone else to take it easy as if their actions didn't matter.

"Sorry. Maybe we do expect something great from you, though." Noise said.

"Well, if we figure it out we'll let you know!" Lavi cut in.

We continued our discussions with Noise and in the end both sides admitted it felt like they were feeling blindly in the dark for solutions.

x

"I feel a pull, that way," said Lenalee as she held the Innocence.

Lavi had some success as well, right before she did. So, I would have one more try at this. I took the fragment from Lenalee and closed my eyes. I focused on the Innocence in the same way that I would meditate, but after minutes of trying I still couldn't feel it. I was about to give up when I heard the distinct sound of Allen's cursed eye focusing on an akuma.

I looked around me and saw nothing but human beings, which is no surprise, but one blond man seemed to be looking openly at us instead of going about his day. More specifically, he looked at the Innocence I held in my hand and at the way the four of us were dressed.

Allen shouted and started running in his direction. I caught the akuma's eye right before he ran away as fast as he could, still in his human form. I gave chase, and shouted for Allen to take the Innocence and get on with the search for the accommodator. I threw it to him as I continued to run after the akuma. 

Lenalee's form blurred past me and she got to him first, using her momentum to knock him against the adjacent wall, and then break him in half with her boots. It exploded then, which was the best way to confirm that an akuma was dead. The lookers-on ran from the scene, panicked and scared.

"He was using the payphone," said Lenalee when I caught up. She was looking at the receiver dangling by its cable off the hook.

I walked over to it with some dread and picked it up. "Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Who's this? An exorcist?" said the man on the other end.

I saw no benefit in playing dumb on that score. If I revealed myself, I would have a good chance of confirming who I was talking to. I was fairly certain this was someone we couldn't ignore. "Kanda." I looked at Lenalee as I talked.

"You found an accommodator. How many exorcists are with you, Kanda?"

I was even more convinced of who he was when I heard him speak again. "…Tyki Mikk?"

Lenalee sucked in a breath.

"You recognize me by voice. I'm flattered. You have a gentleman's attention to detail, but you're conversational skills are still sorely lacking…You won't tell me, then?...Well, I'll find out for myself soon enough. I won't keep you waiting." 

I then heard a click and the conversation was disconnected. I used the wireless, and also looked at Lenalee to make sure she was listening. "Allen, Lavi. We have to get out of here as soon as we can. Tyki Mikk knows where we are, and if he uses their Ark it won't take him long to arrive."

Lenalee gave an affirmative nod to me, then said to Allen and Lavi, "I'll take a look around and see if I can spot you two", and jumped high into the air.

"We're in the eastern part of the main square," Allen said helpfully then added, "we found her but we haven't approached her yet. She's a young girl – maybe twelve years old."

I could tell that he still wanted to be diplomatic with her - talk her into coming with us, despite the danger we were in. I had to cure him of that delusion as quickly as possible. "We're going to have to take her with us without explanations. There's just no time. And she's too important."

Lenalee was back on the ground by then. She said, "Found them. Now Kanda, get on my back."

Even though I knew we had to move, I still hesitated. She's so much smaller than I am; it seems like a ridiculous position.

"Kanda, now, or I'll drag you by your collar. This is the fastest way," she said impatiently.

"Now, now. You're a team player aren't you, Kanda?" egged on Lavi. "No time to waste."

"Fine," I conceded. I stepped behind Lenalee and wrapped my arms around her upper torso. I refused to jump on piggy-back.

She took off then, probably as fast as she could go while still being able to turn a couple of corners along the way. The force of her turns meant that my legs didn't have time to change trajectory, and one time they collided painfully with the wall – She probably did it on purpose. By the time I realized I should have wrapped my legs around her after all, we had arrived at the side of the others.

As I shook out my legs, Allen said, "I think Kanda's right about not having enough time. Lenalee, can you get her to the Ark right away and then come back here? We'll still need to defend the town because Tyki and whoever he brings with him might tear this place apart trying to get to the accomodator."

"Yes. Point her out," she responded.

Lavi looked pointedly in one direction and said, "The blonde girl there with her mother - both are carrying bags of grain. She's wearing a pink cotton dress." The girl, like most of the other people in this town looked like she wasn't a stranger to hard work. Hair pulled back in a messy pony tail, practical clothing, and a casual air.

"I see her," said Lenalee.

"I'll open the gate once you've got her and get close to it," responded Allen. He gave her the piece of  
Innocence that belonged to the girl.

Lenalee approached her quickly, but not unnaturally so. The commotion we caused from killing the akuma didn't make it to this area. I could tell the girl and mother were startled by her sudden appearance.

We could hear the conversation through the wireless. "You're in danger, you have to come with me," said Lenalee.

"Strangers shouldn't come up to folks sayin' things like that. You tryin' to cause trouble?" She obviously  
didn't believe her.

"This is a grand town and we look out for our own here. What do you think we have to fear?" her mother asked Lenalee.

"I'm sorry, there isn't much time. You're a very special person, and there's a very powerful man that would like to kill you if he has the chance. He'll be in town very soon now, but if you come with me I'll hide you someplace safe."

"Not sayin' as I believe you, but couldn't every soul here be in danger iff'en there was such a man?" said the girl.

"Yes. My friends are staying behind in order to protect this town. But if he realizes you aren't here, he may leave town faster," answered Lenalee.

"Or they might take hostages," said the girl. She's smart.

"We won't let that happen," assured Lenalee.

Allen, Lavi and I were looking in all directions through the square during this conversation in hopes of spotting danger as quickly as possible. This was really taking too long. But that effort turned out to be ineffective, as Tyki seemed to materialize right next to the three women in an instant.

I yelled, "Lenalee, go now!", but Tyki's hand was already on Lenalee's shoulder, barely touching. The threat was clear, and we all knew that he could rip her apart from that range before she could get away with the girl.

Damn, we would have been better off more or less kidnapping her.

Tyki Mikk announced his presence, getting as far as "Good afternoon, ladi…" before Allen knocked him to the ground. Lenalee took the opportunity to grab the girl and leave. Tyki was obviously confused about how things ended up the way they had, and we wouldn't enlighten him about just how quickly and easily Allen could make and use gates connected to the Ark.

The girl's mother's eyes were wide, shocked at how the scene had changed.

Allen addressed her when he stood up, "Ma'am, your daughter is safe. Please tell the townspeople to go into their homes, now."

The woman nodded dumbly at first, but then her face became more determined and she left.

In the meantime, Lavi and I moved so that the three of us were in the formation we had practiced for the situation where there was one confirmed enemy but there could be more. Allen followed suit, so that Tyki, who had stood up himself by now, was surrounded by a loose circle.

"You missed your chance, Tyki. Just leave," urged Allen.

"I may have lost the chance to kill a newborn exorcist, Allen, but there are many opportunities still in front of me. The way I see it, I can kill three or four exorcists today – depending on whether Lenalee comes back, and not only destroy their Innocence, but all of the pieces of Innocence they're carrying. 

And the final opportunity, though I admit I don't hold out much hope for it, is that you come with me and finally take up your intended role," answered Tyki.

Allen's face was closed off as he responded, "I'm as likely to come with you as you are to come with me. You should also know that we're not carrying unclaimed pieces of Innocence with us. They're all on the Ark."

"I see. Then perhaps my goal should be to torture you until you let me and the other Noah onto the Ark, so that we can destroy the Innocence and take the Ark which you stole from us. You should see how sad Road has become, and how angry Lord Millennium has become. Tell me, how much do you remember now? Do you know how terribly he betrayed the Earl? What about your Noah memory? Do you feel what the Noah family felt seven thousand years ago?"

"No, I don’t. Although Neah has told me some of it," said Allen. Why was he telling that Noah anything?

Tyki said coaxingly, "We have so much to talk about. Don't you at least want to make sure that you have all of the information before choosing what side to fight on? You'll think differently if you let Noah's memory wash over you. If only you knew what we –" He stopped himself there. Whatever he was going to say he didn't say it, but that's not what I was focused on.

I couldn't stand there listening to his appeals any longer, so from my position at Tyki's left flank I activated my Innocence and let loose a stream of energy right at him. He sunk below the ground and avoided the attack; he was as quick as ever. The energy caused the decimation of the tree line that was behind where Tyki had been – like a thick blue laser beam. Lavi looked ready to join the attack, but we no longer knew where to aim. Allen looked irritated but joined the tighter circle that we moved to form. 

Tyki arose from the ground right in front of me and started a barrage of attacks that I parried with Mugen. He slipped away again before Allen or Lavi could respond.

When he appeared again, it was 20 feet away. "You'll never learn any manners, will you? I was talking to my dear brother, Allen." Even though I knew his words were designed to rile me up, I couldn't help that they did.

I gave Allen the opportunity to respond, but when he didn't I charged after Tyki again. Lavi's hammer beat me to it, and Tyki sunk down once more.

Allen called to us, "An akuma is coming in fast from the North. I can tell he's very powerful; maybe a Level 5". I honed my senses in preparation. A Level 5 akuma was as strong as ten Level 4s.

"I see him," responded Lenalee over the wireless. She must have just returned from the gate.

"Don't fight him on your own," reminded Allen. "Meet us here in the town square."

She arrived five seconds later, and joined our circle. The akuma landed opposite Tyki on the other side. It had an angelic form as all Level 5s do. Where Level 4s looked like decrepit cherubs, Level 5s looked like large adult humans – very tall, with halos, and wings as wide as their bodies were tall. The two seemed to be wordlessly communicating, and it made me very uneasy.

It was during that standoff that General Tiedoll and Noise ran onto the scene as well. I was glad to see them, and gave them a nod in greeting. The six of us managed to use this time effectively by separating our enemy. They simply hadn't accounted for so many of us.

Allen, Lavi and I surrounded Tyki. So as not to harm each other during this close quarters combat, we exorcists used attacks of concentrated force. When Tyki took to the air in avoidance, Allen grabbed me around the waist and his armor took us up to meet him. I unleashed a wave of energy that he couldn't avoid this time. Compared to what I used before, it had a greater surface area but provided a weaker hit overall - and he guided himself to the ground, in pain. Lavi attacked him when he landed with a swing of his hammer strait down, but he rolled away just fast enough to avoid it. 

I glanced towards the other battle, which I had been keeping tabs on until now and hearing through the wireless. Though it was formidable, three experienced Exorcists would be able to defeat it.

I jumped down to the ground to help Lavi, but then the Noah went to the air again. 

Tyki batted Allen diagonally downward with is arm, and Allen landed against a tree 100 feet away and cracked his head. I fired at Tyki but he was out of harm's way too quickly. Suddenly he was in front of Allen, who seemed dazed, and he smashed his head against the tree some more. The tree splintered from the force.

I ran as fast as I could to meet them. My long range attacks would do no good with Allen to close to Tyki.  
The Noah hauled Allen, now unconscious, over his shoulder and traveled quickly through the air, presumable to the location of the gate of his Ark.

Fear set in - uncommonly strong fear. I yelled out Allen's name and hoped that the others would hear my voice and notice what was happening. My need to stop Tyki from leaving with Allen filled me completely and my Innocence responded. A new Illusion entered my mind from the same place as Hell's Insects, but something larger. It came forth at my summons – a humanlike centurion from Hell, which would follow my commands but also think for itself. I had no doubt of what it was capable of and I told it without speaking that he must stop Tyki Mikk and keep Allen Walker safe. It left with speed enough to catch up, and fought against Tyki with great strength. I ran closer as I watched on and I felt gradually weaker over time, having given so much energy to my Illusion.

I heard Lavi, "I'm on my way to Allen, too. Whoa, what the hell is that!"

"Tyki's trying to take Allen with him. My Illusion's stopping him." My voice sounded tired. "You're closer to them than I am now."

I could see Lavi extending his hammer to get there faster, and meet them in the air. When Tyki unintentionally dropped Allen, Lavi was able to catch him. I felt a great rush of relief, followed by horrible anger. The Illusion - Hell's Guard - felt my intent and fought on all the harder. Tyki couldn't avoid it, taking blow after blow. I smiled. A hammer-fist brought him down to the ground, and he skidded to a stop near me. I smiled more in satisfaction, no longer feeling like a bystander.

Tyki and I were both tired and pissed off. As a result, we each left some openings we wouldn't normally have. I sliced him across the chest, maybe an inch deep. He gouged at my side, taking a literal pound of flesh. A moment later, I was surprised to find that I wasn't regenerating quickly enough. I could feel the effects more than I should. My Illusion arrived then to take up the battle and I fell on my back in exhaustion.

From up close I could see that Hell's Guard was more battered than I had thought. As for myself, I pressed the wound tightly to stop the heavy bleeding. My vision was getting blurry as well. Quite suddenly, I could see nothing but white and I thought for a moment it meant I was unconscious. Then I realized that it was Allen's armor; the white cloak surrounded us both. He pressed his hands on my gouged side as well, but then looked forward at my Illusion.

When I looked myself, I was surprised at what I saw. The centurion also wore a cloak like Allen's and seemed to use it quite naturally to defend as he saw fit. 'Surprised' didn't cover it, I was amazed. Tyki was being beaten to a bloody pulp.

Tyki fled then and I seriously considered ordering the Illusion to go after him, but I was barely conscious and needed the energy to return to me. So I called it come. Thankfully, my regeneration became somewhat more substantial as a result.

"I should heal faster now," I told Allen. "But don't let go yet."

He gave me a relieved smile, and then in a false-superior tone said, "You're pouring blood, idiot. Of course I'm not letting go."

"Tyki's gone then?"

"Yea."

"What about the akuma?"

"Defeated. Just a few moments ago by the other team." If that was the case, why didn't he deactivate the armor? I looked at him more closely and noticed that he wasn't doing all that well himself. "You're head's bleeding in the back."

"It's fine. Worry about yourself."

"That's my line. At least put some pressure on it. Che."

"How am I supposed to do that? My hands a full with you."

Lavi said then as he approached them, "I've got it, Allen," and walked over to us to see to Allen's head. He poked his head over Allen's shoulder to speak to both of us. "Everyone's beaten up but more or less ok. They're coming over here to meet us now."

Lenalee arrived first, and sat beside me. Allen deactivated his Innocence so that she could get close. "Are you alright, Kanda?"

"I'll be fine," I told her. Did she really expect a different answer? Maybe the weak voice I used to say it gave me away, though.

General Tiedoll sat on my other side, already crying pathetically, with Noise standing behind him with a concerned face. I didn't have the energy to be irritated by all of the attention. Instead, I felt covered enough to let go of my hold on consciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

Allen's POV:

As I was telling Komui through the wireless that we would need immediate medical attention when we returned, I felt Kanda's hold on his side slacken. Looking at his face, I confirmed that he was out. Lenalee checked his pulse and said it was a little weak but nothing to worry about yet. Blood still trickled from between my fingers; so warm. I knew we needed a better solution. I asked the others to help me lift him into a sitting position, and once they did I used my Clown Belt to wrap the injury tightly. From the brief glimpse I got of the exposed injury, it looked like it was improving - thank goodness. He really stretched himself too thin this time. It must have had something to do with that thing his Innocence created. 

"We're leaving right now," I informed the others.

"I would like to come with you to the Ark", stated the General. "Not only to ensure your safety but the safety of the accommodator that you picked up as well." So someone filled him in on our reason for being here. It was clear he was sincerely concerned for our well-being, but his ulterior motive was something to consider.

I was pretty sure I had a concussion, and I didn't want to argue so I just made my stance clear. "We appreciate the help and you're welcome to come, General, and Noise too, but first I would like your word that you won't attempt to take the accommodator with you when you leave."

"I can promise you that, Allen. But I don't promise that I won't try to convince you or the young lady in question otherwise. I suggest we see what the girl can do first."

"That's fine, General. Welcome aboard." At that, I opened a gate for us.

The next morning, I was discharged from the infirmary. All of the other combatants were released last night, but I had still been a little too easily confused for the doctor's liking - courtesy of the slightly fractured skull. I currently had a tormenting headache, but I wouldn't have been satisfied with lying down while there was so much to sort through.

I passed through the lounge on the way to the cafeteria and found Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee there. Where they waiting up for me, I wonder? Kanda looked up from the battle tactics book he'd been reading and was the first to notice me. Lavi and Lenalee were arguing about a move someone had made in their chess game.

Kanda looked me up and down as if checking me over to make sure I was alright. I did the same to him and it looked like he was at 100 percent once again. From the most to the least injured among us in only a few hours. Once I was satisfied about his well-being, I went back and looked him over again for selfish reasons. I gave him a secret smile before greeting everyone at once. "Hi, everyone. I've been let out."

Lenalee and Lavi looked me over as well. I could see that they had no more than a few cuts and bruises.  
Lenalee said, "I'm so glad, Allen. How do you feel?"

"I've got a bad headache, to be honest," I said sitting down. “But I want to eat, bathe, and then see, ah…what's the accommodator's name, by the way?" I began.

"Millie Cooper," supplied Lavi.

"Right. Then I'll meet Millie, and talk to General Tiedoll and Noise as well."

Kanda said, "There's a meeting planned for two hours from now. You can just talk to all of them at once then."

"Sounds good," I said, putting a hand to my head in response to a particular stab of pain.

"You should rest up instead," said Lenalee. "You'll heal quicker if you do." 

"Yea, you were actually pretty loopy last night," agreed Lavi. "Do you remember?" I didn't, really. He was smiling by now and I knew he would delight in telling me either way. "You were concerned that you left the oven on and told everyone you needed to check. Of course, there is no oven in your house. Haha! We managed to keep you in bed for a little while, but you eventually snuck away. Only you tried to leave through the linen closet so it didn't work out for you. Oh, and when you walked it was very wobbly. Then you asked where Link was, and when we told you he wasn't there you looked sad for a while. Then you kept trying to hug Kanda! Haha! He would get angry and move somewhere else in the room and you would follow him until the nurse forced you back to bed. After a few hours of that he gave up and sat there with his arms crossed while you hung off of him!"

Now that he mentioned it, I remember having perfectly good reasons for everything I did at the time, but I could no longer recall what they were. There was no use getting embarrassed. All three of them seemed to think it was funny, after all.

Lavi laughed a bit more and then took a more serious tone, "Seriously though, you were very out of character so I don't think you should strain your head."

"What were the doctor's instructions for you?" asked Kanda.

"I have a skull fracture - a very small one. He said no physical activity for a week, but didn't say 'You can't talk to a large group of people that are all in the same room'," I said grumpily. Before anyone could respond, I added "Look, I'm really hungry. Could we discuss this over breakfast?"

I didn't speak again until I was full. The fight from the day before, and the injuries I still had meant that I needed to eat much more than normal.

When conversation resumed: Generally, I conveyed that I would be participating in the upcoming decisions. And they conveyed that my decisions couldn't be trusted yet. My response to that was that if they couldn't tell the difference between a sound opinion based on facts and one based on nonsense then that didn't speak very well for anyone. And since I was able to make that argument in the first place, they finally believed I was sane enough to join them.

Argument ended, I could feel the tension leave us as we walked back to our homes.

Lavi filled the silence with, "So that you're prepared, Allen and Kanda, everyone will want to know how you pulled off your new moves in that fight with Tyki. It really was awesome, by the way."

"Thanks. I haven't had time to think about it myself," was all I offered.

"I have some ideas about that," Kanda said casually, making eye contact with me.

Taking the hint I said, "I'd like to hear them before the meeting with everyone. Do you have a few minutes to discuss them now?"

He paused believably before answering, "I guess." I had to hide my smile.

Kanda and I sat in my living room on adjacent couches, looking into the fireplace. I began with, "You're a good actor; at least when you're pretending to be indifferent, anyway."

"Who said I'm pretending?" he responded teasingly.

"Are you really all healed?" I asked, looking at his side. 

"Yea, not even a scar left." He lifted his shirt to show me smooth skin where he had been bleeding profusely from yesterday. 

For a moment, I remembered the large pool of blood that surrounded him and that I had knelt in. I shook the memory and focused on what was in front of me – Kanda's still exposed torso that I developed the urge to touch. I leaned towards him and ran my right palm over the healed skin. The muscle underneath twitched in reaction. I slowly pulled away and sat back again.

I could see him smirk as he pulled his shirt down again. But after that he went deep in thought. "I pushed myself too far; I almost didn't bounce back that time." Then in a more put-out tone, "General Tiedoll wouldn't leave me alone. He visited maybe 20 times until I was discharged from the infirmary."

"Does he bother you that much? He cares about you."

"Not really", he said referring to whether the attention bothers him. "What about you? Really? Not going to fall down a rabbit hole are you?" he said referring to my head.

"You read that book?"

"Yea. Though I remember thinking the world that Alice fell into wasn't as scary as she made it out to be.  
More annoying than anything."

"How old were you when you read it?"

"Ten. Not long after joining the European branch of the Order."

"Well, I understand how the ten-year-old you could think that. When I read the book I remember thinking that maybe my strange arm meant that I was really part of a crazy world like that and I fell into the normal one."

"I guess you were right, more or less…Did the doctor give you a painkiller?"

"Yea, but I can't take it yet. Not while I want to think clearly."

"Idiot."

"If I'm an idiot, you are too. Which leads us into the discussion of what the hell happened yesterday? Was it as you thought? The sense of urgency that lets exorcists evolve the connection with their Innocence; was it even stronger in this case because I was in danger? Stronger than if Lavi or Lenalee or Marcus or Michael was in danger?" The latter two names were of Finders that Kanda befriended more than the others.

"I just remember thinking that there was no way I could let Tyki take you with him. It was a stronger urge to protect than I've ever felt. And then I could see the Guardian clearly in my mind, and I was able to make it real using the Innocence and my own energy. I have little doubt that it was possible because it was you that was in danger. But now that it's been summoned, I know I can create it again if I need it."

He looked at me intensely, studying me. Maybe he was thinking, 'What does make this guy different from anyone else?' It made my pulse quicken. He did all things with such intensity, and now he was thinking of me.

I swallowed in attempt to alleviate my dry throat. "I think it's the same for me. I was able to split my  
Innocence into two sets of armor. I felt like I needed to attack and defend at the same time, and my Innocence met that need. …When I saw how badly hurt you were, and that you might be in real danger…well, it was a horrible feeling. Like my stomach dropped, and a bolt of lightning went through me." I got lost in the memory at some point while I was talking, looking at the floor. When I was done speaking, I looked at Kanda again. The memory made me feel raw, and his eyes showed me that he was affected as well.

I leaned across the arm of the couch and he did the same so that our lips met in a kiss. The contact soothed some of the rawness. I moved to sit directly next to him, never breaking the kiss. His arms were around me in an instant, and I wrapped my own arms around his neck. The kiss deepened, and our tongues fought each other.

It was only then that I realized that I had been holding onto the troubled feelings that the battle caused longer than I usually did. And not just because there are new emotions involved. I usually vented after a fight. And that was most often accomplished by fighting with Kanda, by both verbal and physical means. But we didn't fight this time. It didn't even cross my mind. Instead, we're pouring all of our frustration into this new connection we have. And I have to say that it's working very well.

"Beats kicking the shit out of each other", I said breathlessly when our lips parted.

He smiled challengingly as if to say he would enjoy both.

"So," I said, climbing back to my own couch, "I was thinking that when we get asked for the details about how we managed to get stronger, I'll put them off for a few days. Until every waking moment isn't one long headache."

"So that the power is still with us to reveal what we want to in our own time. I agree."

The more pressing matter discussed, I remembered something else I wanted to bring up. "By the way, I'm not trying to pick fights but you shouldn't have interrupted when Tyki was talking to me. He was giving us information that we didn't already know."

He half succeeded in hiding his anger. "My concern was that you were telling Tyki things that he didn't need to know. I wanted to stop you even earlier than I did, but I held back. And then he was trying to convince you to get to know you're Noah side better, and then sit and have a nice chat with him. "

I took a moment to hold back my own anger, and then said, "Do you think by his merely suggesting those things, that I'll actually do them?"

"No."

"Then give me some credit. Anyway, I've been thinking that it would be a good idea to know more about the two extra sets of extremely foggy memories in my head. It might make me realize some things that I haven't yet. Maybe about how to defeat the Earl." This shouldn't be news to him.

"Or it might cloud your thoughts, and you'll want to join the Earl, or even usurp him." Oh. So now we were at the heart of it.

"I have everyone here on the Ark with me to tell me if what I'm thinking makes any sense before I act, including you." My voice started to reveal my concern. "Of course I'm scared of the possibilities. I've run them all through my mind so many times. Something you haven't mentioned yet: What if I'm no longer myself? I could already be slipping away and not even realized it. Am I acting like Neah? I don't know, and I haven't been able to ask anyone who's known him. And even if I'm still 'Allen' now, I could be more 'Neah' or 'Noah'-like down the road."

"You're Allen", he cut in. "I have no doubt of that. At least, you're character is the same since the time that I met you. You're experiences have molded you into a better exorcist and stronger person, but you are you. If these other two influences changed you, it happened before I met you. If you want to go back farther than that, you'll have to ask someone else."

No one else talks to me this way. And I really needed it. "Kanda. You're right." Maybe I should go to see  
Mother. A visit is long overdue.

"Next time an enemy runs his mouth off, I'll let him. But you should be more careful about what you say."

"Ok."

"Lavi gave me an earful about interrupting too, by the way. But I told him it was no time to be thinking like a Bookman. It turns out he'll get his way, but I'll never tell him I was wrong."

I laughed.

x

I whispered to Lenalee, on my left, "Mille wasn't too traumatized by the whole thing, was she?"

"She's very resilient" she responded while looking at her across the table. Mille herself was talking to Johnnie about her life in America. "I think we'll be shown once again that the burden of this life is only laid on those that can adapt to it. She was most concerned about the safety of her family and townspeople. General Tiedoll, Komui, Johnnie and I have spent the most time with her, explaining what it is that we do and what kind of life she should expect to lead from now on."

With everyone now seated, the side conversations died down and Komui took the floor. "We have quite a few things to discuss, but I would like to start with our guest, Mille Cooper." He then addressed her directly. "Mille, we all apologize for the chaotic way in which you came to meet us. In more ideal circumstances, we would have met with you and your family on your own terms and discussed your joining of the Order or the splinter group on the Ark. I hope you've become assured that your town is safe. There were indeed no casualties during our fight against the Noah and the akuma."

"I'll be more assured if I can see them for myself," she responded. She seems to have changed her speech. She had the same accent, but was now using what we would consider proper English.

"That can be arranged," assured Komui.

She looked appeased. "And I'll take that time to say goodbye." Johnnie put a hand on her shoulder.

"When will I know which team I'll join? You just referred to this as a splinter group? Exactly how do you differ in fighting against those monsters?"

General Tiedoll spoke up. "The upper echelons of the Black Order don't trust some of the members of this group because they have some ties to the enemy. I would prefer to see you join me in the Order, but the decision is ultimately up to you."

Komui said, "I would like to wait and see what your Innocence allows you to do before deciding where you should go. From my discussions with you, I really think you have a support-type ability. Your emotions are strongest when talking about helping others. You also said you felt something within you when Tyki was near. Perhaps your power has something to do with dark matter.

Johnnie said, "Say, Allen. Could you, you know, be our dark matter test subject?" Everyone looked at me interestedly. I didn't switch to my Noah form very often in front of them. I nodded and in an instant, the transformation was done. As always happened, I felt more focused and rational, giving less attention to emotional reactions. The slight embarrassment I felt a moment before was eased. I looked at Mille, and saw the fear on her face. I thought of soothing her with reassurance, since we wouldn't get anywhere if she panicked. But then I remembered that fear was good when connecting with Innocence. Ever better is fear on another's behalf. I opened a portal next to Lenalee, keeping a level gaze on Mille, and then pushed Lenalee through it with one arm, knowing that she would land on the overstuffed chair in the lounge.

Mille screamed and the Innocence in her hands undoubtedly activated. I felt a great deal of pain, and I wasn't sure which was from my headache –exacerbated by her scream – and which was her Innocence acting upon me. I fell to the floor from my chair, and when I gathered myself to sit up I noticed that the Noah transformation was cancelled. I looked around me then. Kanda was on one knee next to me, asking if I was alright without words. General Tiedoll was at my other side checking me over, and asking me how I felt.

Through the disorientation, I tried to initiate the transformation again and couldn't. Then I tried to open a doorway, and was unable to do so. I couldn't feel the presence of the people on the Ark either. It made me feel very uncomfortable. "Turn it off" I requested of Mille. Then I explained to everyone how the Noah abilities were suppressed.

Mille wasn't sure what to do. She thought I was a real threat and didn't want to give me my power. She looked around the room for confirmation.

Komui told her firmly to deactivate, and assured her that I wasn't an enemy.

"What about Lenalee. What did he do to her?" asked Millie.

"She's fine. Probably coming back to this room right now." I confirmed. "I was trying to create a sense of urgency in you."

"Well, it worked." She said, put out. She concentrated for a few moments, and then I felt as I should again.

"Thank you", I said appreciatively.

"Well, I guess you're a dark matter suppressor," said Lavi.

"That's good. Cuz I can't stand the feeling of that stuff near me. I'm really tired," was her response.

"I have a good idea of how to make your weapon", Komui said with confidence. "By the way, when you visit your family, take your most precious possessions with you. They may help in the forging of the weapon. You did a great job, Millie. Why don't you rest now?"

Johnnie guided her out of the room.

"Now that that's settled, I'm going to have to excuse myself", I said. "I thought I felt bad this morning…"

"You shouldn't have been a guinea pig when you still have a cracked head", said Kanda. Of course, for Kanda that's showing a great deal of concern.

"It's not helpful to complain after it's done", said Lavi. "If you had a problem you should have said something earlier." 

"Shut up."

"I'll walk with you, Allen. Don't want you passing out on the way home," offered Lavi.

x

My injuries were fully healed. General Tiedoll and Noise left us once again. Mille decided to join them, at least in part because she’s still uncomfortable around me. 

I had made all of the preparations to the Room and I stood there looking over my work. I told Kanda that what I was doing would be a surprise. The hot spring was large, had a waterfall, and I had a cool pool next to it in case it got too warm. I decided to make a forest landscape around it. I set the sky to a perpetual sunset.

Now I just had to find Kanda. I concentrated, and sensed that he was in the front of his home and was alone. Without further delay, I stepped through a door into his living room. We agreed that this was our last night for stealth and I didn't want the light that emits from the door forming to alert anyone. 

When I peered out the window, he was sitting on the flat porch railing, one leg on the floor and the other bent at the knee with his foot on the railing. His head was leaning against the frame and his eyes were closed. It took me by surprise when I noticed a small white kitten stretched out over his thigh, asleep. I wondered if he even knew that he had its company.

I bunched up a piece of paper on his table, got down low behind the window and threw it at his head. His first reaction, unsurprisingly, was to be pissed off. He sat up straight and looked in the general direction of the throw with a look to kill. The kitten jumped down onto the floor with surprise. Once Kanda realized it was me, however, his bearing became more neutral and he walked into his house.

I smiled and pointed my arm at the door in invitation to walk through.

When he did, he looked around at what I had set up, and I could tell he was impressed.

"It's a gift to everyone, but tonight it's just for the two of us," I said.

He looked back at me with gratitude. Then he turned towards the water and began to strip off his clothes. I struggled to do the same and not just stand there and gawk. I always loved his long, lean torso, and it was accentuated as he pulled off his shirt.

The water was perfectly hot against my skin, just right. It would relax my aching muscles, and the calming effect would keep my over-eagerness in check. Kanda sat beside me on a bench in the water. For a long time we just relaxed and said nothing. It was nice. I thought back to how well we supported each other in battle the other day. Could the bond increase and make us stronger still? There was a real possibility. I changed the setting to full nighttime, and then began the fireworks show that I had planned.

Kanda's hand covered mine in the water, and his fingers began to idly graze and rub my hand. I turned my own hand over and responded with my own. This somehow turned into a game where we each tried to be the topmost hand, weaving and bobbing followed by firm grips, which grew further until it felt more like a strong-arming match. We were both laughing by now, and it didn't end until I pinned his wrist to the bench.

From there, I straddled his lap slowly while keeping a distance between us. The look of want and good humor he gave me was very encouraging. I leaned forward, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him softly and thoroughly. I felt like a starving man though I had kissed him just yesterday. And it wasn't long until I was hungry for more than kisses alone.

I pushed myself forward so that I sat closer against Kanda's body, and our cocks would bob against each other in the water. We were each snaking our hands along each other's bodies, like we wanted to feel all we could at the same time.

I wrapped my legs completely around his middle and pulled him closer still. Our kissing grew urgent. I grabbed his cock with one hand and rubbed it slowly under the water. His resulting groan made me desire him all the more; it was deep and wanting. He took my dick in his hand with a firm grip and matched the pace I had set.

It was getting difficult to sit still, so I rocked my hips as we continued. Then I licked and sucked his throat as he kept his head tiled back. I decided I liked the way he looked when he did that. And then he moved his head forward and bit at my ear. First on the lobe, then around the shell, then on the top of the ear, and around the shell again, ending by focusing behind the ear. When he realized the last was the most responsive of all, he didn't let up for a long time.

All of a sudden we were kissing again, and that hunger was intensified. I stroked him gently and I swallowed the resulting hitch in his throat. He grabbed the back of my head with one hand and pulled it tighter to him. I loved every second, but after a time I wanted more. As I was deciding what I wanted 'more' to mean, Kanda's hand traveled down from the back of my head, along my back, and grazed at my entrance.

It shocked me out of all other actions and thoughts. What was left behind was a deep thrill at the implication of the touch mixed with fear of the unknown, and then confidence as I looked at the sincere expression on his face. He was always a man that used actions and bearing better than words, and I heard him. He rubbed in a slow rhythm and I closed my eyes for the power of it. In one sense we might be letting off steam, the same way that we used to fight at every opportunity. But he let me see just now quite plainly that this is something more. It put a lump in my throat, and I decided that I would make sure to tell him in the same way how I felt as well. It's not very difficult. I just had to let go.

I opened my eyes and I could see him read the confirmation and the pleasure on my face. I pushed away from his body some, which gave him better access to my entrance. The sheer intimacy of it all was nearly overwhelming. I attacked his mouth with my own and then we each resumed the attention to each other's arousals. The combination of sensations was starting to melt together for me.  
I pushed against his fingers without thinking about it. And his response was to probe just inside that tight ring. Just inside. Then pressing gently against the sides. I was breathing deeply but I refused to stop kissing him. The kisses were short and in between breaths. When the sensation of stretching lessened I couldn't help but to push against his fingers again, forcing them deeper. The water was offering too much resistance though.

I stuck my hand out to the side and into the window I knew I had made. I reached for the oil that was on the table in my house and pulled it through, dissolving the window behind me. I pushed the bottle onto Kanda's chest and said, "I want you to keep doing that, but not in the water." It took him a moment to understand my words, but he nodded once he did.

I stood up and pulled him along by the wrist out of the hot spring and to a bench I had thought to include in the room. The air seemed cool against my hot skin. "Just as we left off," I told him and I pushed him just enough to make him sit down. I climbed on top of him and put my legs around him again, resuming as quickly as I could so that it was as if there was never an interruption. He followed suit and found use for the oil that he had placed on the bench beside us before long.

His arms left my body for a short time. Then, after a while, one hand was holding my hip while the others fingers were inside of me, slick and moving more easily. He pumped them in and out and I got lost in the feeling easily. I closed my hand around his erection in answer and stroked. He went for the oil again after he put my hand out, pouring it over my palm. I struggled not to pump him too quickly. It wasn't nearly time to come yet.

As Kanda rubbed and stretched me inside, I knew I wanted it all. I wanted him inside me, and I wanted to see what his face looked like when he was. His fingers made me groan out with need. I kissed him and when I broke our lips apart, I leaned closer to his ear and said with the little breath I could gather, "I'm going to take you now." When I pulled back to see his reaction, I saw that his face was more flushed than I had ever seen it, his eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted.

He replied, "You can take me any time you want. Right now. And tomorrow. And next month. And…" He didn't seem to want to finish his words, so I took them for what they were and kissed him impatiently.

I needed more room. When he removed his fingers I got up and urged him to the grass, flipping him so that he landed on his back with me on top of him. His surprised expression made me laugh. I positioned myself over him, on my hands and knees and now he was looking a little awed.

Then I was coming down on him slowly, moving up and down in small degrees, going deeper when I wanted to. I don't know what I was expecting it to feel like, but I could not have possibly imagined beforehand what it actually does feel like to be full in this way. Kanda gasped with each movement. When I had sat down on him fully, I stayed still for a few moments. I think I was holding my breath up until then because I just started breathing again.

I began moving up and down his length experimentally, taking note of what felt the best for me, and what got the best reactions from Kanda. I could watch him all day: groaning, gasping, scrunching his face, writhing his body.

He eventually grabbed my hips and pushed himself back against me in time with my movements. The contrast of the familiar and new struck me right then. I knew Kanda so well, and I knew his body's movements through endless hours of training. I knew his reaction times, his stamina level, and the ferocity of his strength. We've worked in tandem to achieve a common goal. And all that is him is now under me. Sometimes overwhelmed, sometimes answering each action with his own, and sometimes ready to explode.

Kanda's POV:

Allen. He stole me away to a room that no one else knows exist. A room that he created. He made me laugh and smile. And I saw his carefree expressions. He looked at me with desire and affection. He conquered the unknown with courage. With enthusiasm. He amazes me. He took control of the situation and I'm happy to let him. For the moment. I'm surrounded by the warmth, softness and hardness that I admire in him. His motions are certain, and once I'm able I thrust up against him with equal force. We've developed an even pace by now. He leaned down so that we were chest to chest to kiss me. His arms were now using me directly for support. I liked feeling the weight of him. I could feel his muscles move under my hands as I held his hips.

We continued this way for a long time. When his breathing quickened considerably, so that it was difficult to keep kissing him, I sharpened my thrust just once so that he might have been thrown if I didn't have his hips, and then continued as before. He yelled out in surprise and pleasure. When I did it again, he met the force.

I flipped him all at once onto his back and hovered over his body. I could now see his face more clearly, surprised by the turnabout. I lowered my weight onto him, kicking my feet out. Then grabbed fistfuls of his hair and rammed my tongue into his mouth. He wrapped his legs tightly around my waist and I grunted in approval. I could feel his cock pinned between our bodies as I moved. His legs tightened against me as he pushed back, and his arms pulled me closer at my neck.

When my grip on his hair loosened some, his hands traveled to the back of my head and pulled out my hair tie. I felt the hair fall around me and his hands were running through it against my scalp a moment later; first in the back of my head and then pushing through my fringe and back.

Deciding he wasn't nearly distracted or undone enough if he could pay enough attention to accomplish that, I lifted myself up some to gain better leverage and thrust more deeply and quickly into him. He grunted loudly, and held on to me with his arms around my shoulders. His breath was hitching close to my ear and his fingers dug into my back as we continued.

I grabbed the backs of his thighs and threw his legs over my shoulders. Adjusting my angle again, I drove deeper into him with everything I had. He writhed and yelled out and said my name. Now only his shoulders and head touched the ground, and the soft dirt under the grass was giving way under them. I relentlessly pushed on, making sure to hit the spot that made him yell the most.

Then I slowed down, before it ended too soon. My hands explored his face and his hair. He felt along my back and shoulders. His hands traveled from my lower back to my ass, pushing me ever so slightly every time our hips met. I moved my hands down his neck and onto his chest, feeling his muscles move as he kneaded and pushed with his hands. I used my tongue and mouth to explore his neck further. I could taste the salt on his skin and feel the vibrations of his satisfied groans. Then down to the soft juncture of his shoulder, which was easily becoming a favorite of mine. My right hand played with his nipple, softly rolling it between fingers and grazing back and forth. Then I was rubbing his side with my palm.

I noticed for the first time that my Innocence was reacting within me. The synchronization was strong, and familiar except for a very small bit of it that felt new. The newness emitted a will separate from the one that I shared with my Innocence: save the akuma, and save the people. Allen's Innocence. Yes, I had felt this briefly when we last fought Tyki Mikk. I felt his convictions, and I didn't know what to do with them. But I could cry for their sincerity and fight for their fruition. Did he feel mine as well?

His hands became more insistent on me, urging me to go a little faster. He sucked and bit at my neck with abandon, though any marks he made wouldn't stay there for long. Our pleasure continued to build, though we didn't increase our pace again. It built slowly and solidly until it suddenly spilled over. I went rigid and cried out against his ear, as Allen kept moving around me. I could feel his smile on my neck.

When I could move again, I kissed him and moved against him at the pace we had set once again until he came, head thrown back. To see him that way enthralled me, and thrilled me. I wanted to see his ecstasy again and again.

I stayed inside of him as we reveled in the aftermath. Eventually, though, I pulled out and lay beside him on the grass, looking up at the stars he had put there.

"Amazing," he said softly.

"Yea," I agreed. I didn't think I could voice anything more than that.

He grasped my hand, and our fingers threaded together. We looked at each other. He looked so happy and content that I felt a pull in my chest, and I'm sure I couldn't hide the effect because then he smiled even bigger.

We lay like that until we heard the 11'o-clock chime.


	7. Chapter 7

Kanda’s POV:

Today was a Sunday, the day of rest in which no training was usually planned. No missions have been announce so far today, but these days there was about a 50/50 shot of one.

It was late in the morning and Allen and I sat in Lenalee's home; the first stop on our tour. We were in for a long day of admissions to, and uncomfortable conversations with, our friends. If not out-and-out arguments.

Actually, this was really the second stop. The first was a surprisingly frank discussion between General  
Tiedoll and me the night of his arrival on the Ark. I still found it terribly difficult to talk with the man; it was always easier when Marie or Chaoji was there too; but perhaps not when it comes to this particular subject.

When I was allowed out of the infirmary the night before, it was only a couple of hours before I was considering going back in to check on Allen. If he had something common, like broken bones, I wouldn't have thought too much about it. But head injuries could potentially leave permanent effects on the way he thought and acted, and he was in danger of that on a daily basis to begin with. Or, he could just drop dead from an embolism.

I was surprised at how worst case scenarios would pop into my head, and thinking about them would cause a knot in my stomach. Unable to banish the thoughts, I walked back to the tower, angry at myself. 

When I got to the lounge, I stopped there and sat, not wanting to go further. I listened for any nearby activity, and heard nothing. I took that as a good sign, since I was in hearing distance of the infirmary. If there was any sort of emergency there would be people shouting, right?

Now convinced that I could avoid embarrassingly out of character behavior by walking through the infirmary door, I settled more comfortably on the couch. If there was a problem, or if he was released, I would know about it if I stayed here. To keep myself occupied, I read for a couple of hours on battle tactics. As the hours passed, I grew increasingly tired and hadn't even realized when I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of footsteps. As I straightened myself out from a slouched position, I saw the General walk over to me and sit down. I instinctively went on edge in response to what I knew was his overly intrusive personality.

"Kanda," he greeted kindly. "You know, I've never seen you sleep - or read - in a public place when you had the option of a private room – or a house in this case."

Feeling defensive, I wanted to tell him that I hadn't changed very much; that it just kind of happened and was out of the ordinary. But that was a lie, wasn't it? When I was at the Order, I never truly felt comfortable anywhere but in solitude. Marie's presence was the only exception, and only most of the time. The halls were filled with people that laughed together and tried to engage with me too. But I knew that before long, most of them would be gone. Their levity bothered me at the time. I didn't get it.  
Here on the Ark, however, I knew every name. We all actively engaged in the strategies and decisions that were made. I trusted them with my life and I protected them. Yes, the losses hurt. And that's what I was trying to avoid for all of those years. But, I'm proud to have known them.

I was comfortable here. And it was a little strange to talk with the General who thought of me as my past self. I answered with, "I guess some things change."

"Why don't you tell me?" he encouraged.

And I did. It was the most I had ever spoken to him at once. He asked so many questions. I told him how I lived now, and what little I remembered of my past. Everything - except this thing that was developing between me and Allen.

When I was done, he told me, "I'm so proud of you."

I didn't know what to do with that at first. It turns out his approval meant more than I thought it did. In the past I might have wanted to walk quickly from the room in avoidance. Instead, I looked back at him with a lump in my throat.

Overcome with emotion, he hugged me. And though I couldn't bring myself to hug him in return, I didn't push him away.

Trying to change the subject, I said, "What brings you to the tower so late anyway."

Pulling away, he said, "Checking up on the remaining patient." 

I couldn't help but prod for more information, "And?"

He smiled at my concern. "He was making a great deal more sense than earlier when I just talked to him.  
Other than that, the doctor had no further news. Allen was in high enough spirits by the time I left." I was relieved at the progress. The General scrutinized my face for a few moments, which made me close off any facial expression I might have been showing. Then he said, "Were you by any chance…waiting up for Allen?"

I didn't answer right away. I was hating the way he had guessed correctly, and he seemed to be enjoying making me uneasy - he always did. "I was a little concerned," I admitted.

He contemplated something, and then said, "Kanda, I saw some amazing displays of Innocence today, especially from both you and Allen. Is it something that the exorcists in the Order can accomplish as well? I dare say the four of you are all more in sync with your Innocence than us Generals."

I was struck by his humility, but wasn't surprised by it. I gathered my thoughts, saw no reason to keep any information from him, and answered, "As you know, with the crystal-type weapons, emotion plays a part in synchronization just like the parasitic type; particularly concerning the destruction of akuma, and the protection of others. What's happened here on the Ark, it's like… a brotherhood. When one of us is in danger, it makes the others stronger."

"I see. But, I care so much for my fellow exorcists; why wouldn't that phenomena affect me?"

Thinking of how the General interacts with others, I thought maybe the key word was 'brotherhood'.  
"Perhaps, because you look on most of us as a father. Someone that guides others. When's the last time you fought alongside someone and thought of them as equal?"

He didn't answer right away. "You've given me a lot to think about. Very astute of you to have drawn that conclusion, Kanda. Hmm, does that mean that you and Allen have the strongest bond? It was your mutual danger today that set off synchronization in the other…Actually, the more I think about it…Did Allen's Innocence mingle with yours!"

"It's possible. I still don't understand it."

He looked back towards the infirmary, and then back to me. "This could be very important, Kanda. Just how close are you with Allen?"

His words affected me. I saw no way around it now. What was a few days difference in revealing the truth when the power of that truth had potential in winning us this war? "We like each other. He’s my boyfriend." I waited levelly for his reaction, though I agonized internally.

He leaned forward and looked at me for a long time in surprise and then asked, "Is that a joke?"

"It's not." I held his gaze, but my cheeks heated up against my will.

"You're really not joking," he said in wonder. Then, "There's no way, say, Chaoji and I can follow that model."

I almost fell off the couch in surprise at his irreverent response. "Of course not!" I said hotly. "But you can be his friend." Was he acting this way because the revelation didn't bother him? I had to know. "So then, you're not…" 

"Angry?" he supplied. "No, no, of course not. You're living the way you want to. I would only be angry if you denied yourself of happiness unnecessarily. Am I surprised? Without a doubt. Although, the two of you do have your similarities, don't you?... I take it you haven't told anyone else?"

"No, but we intend to. As soon as Allen's healed, probably."

"It will be for the best if you do. Until then, I would watch out for Komui if I were you. He'll be scrutinizing your Innocence in order to find out how in the world you were able to do what you did. But you don't have to worry about me letting the cat out of the bag. I know you'll work things out with your team in your own way."

"Thanks, General. We won't shy away from that responsibility. My only concern is that a rift gets created in the team at a time that we need to be ever closer."

"Have faith in them. Sure, there might be some bumps in the road, but I think it will be fine. So, how long has it been going on?"

"Only a couple of weeks. Though...the seeds were planted much earlier."

"I'm happy for you." I believed him. "Now, I'm going off to bed. I was resting up in town before all of this business started today. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I stayed about 20 minutes longer, and then went off to bed myself.

x

Lenalee politely offered us tea in the sitting room, but it was obvious that she was confused as to why we might have come by. It was an admittedly an out of the ordinary sort of visit.

Allen started the conversation. "I wanted to tell you, Leenalee, that I like someone. An exorcist. "

She glanced at me, looking for a connection between the company and conversation. Surely thinking something like, 'Why would Allen be talking about romantic things in front of Kanda?' Then she said, “Is it…me, Allen? I know that we used to…” Her expression turned pained.

"I did love you, Lenalee. And I said so at the time that I felt it, but I don't feel that way now. You're one of my dearest friends, though, and nothing can change that. Really, don't worry anymore about that."

"You're my dear friend too, Allen."

"Glad to hear it," he said honestly. I knew he didn't really blame her for anything. When the reality that he was a Noah truly sunk in for her, she just started pulling away. It was a subtle decline that left them as the friends they are today. I didn't pull away though. “I'm here because I wanted to tell everyone about it before secrecy became a problem. Your understanding, both as my comrade and my friend, are important to me," Allen said, moving the conversation forward.

Her curious expression melted into an open one, ready for anything. Well, Allen and I can only hope so. She eventually said, "Who is it? I really can't guess. An exorcist you said? If so, that doesn't leave many options. She must be part of the Order. Have you talked to her about it? Does she return your feelings?" She smiled in suspense. Giddy with the possibilities.

Allen seemed at a loss for words. I decided I would only jump in if he needed me to, or if she asked me something directly, since she was his ex-girlfriend. That was also the reason why we came to her first. She could potentially have to most volatile reaction. And also, Allen thought he owed it to her.

Lenalee continued at the prolonged silence, "And, why is Kanda here to talk about it, too?" Now she was speaking to me directly. "Kanda, do you know who she is?"

Damn! I made a decision to move things along. "I know who it is." Her eyes brightened. I coached myself to ease her into it, since there are number of revelations about to take place for her. "The first hint is that you should be asking, 'Do you know who he is?'"

Her eyes grew wide, and she put her teacup down. "He?" she repeated.

It didn't look like Allen was breathing.

After and long pause, taken while looking at her cup, she lifted her head and prompted, "Allen?"

As if she broke a dam on his words, he spoke immediately. "That's why it's been so hard to bring it up,  
Lenalee. I've been struggling with this for a while now, but I've decided to be with this person."

"Struggle? Did you struggle alone? Not confiding in anyone?" She knows him so well.

"Until recently, yea. I didn't know what anyone would think of me, or what I should think of it myself." I thought he had been secretive, not that he was condemning himself. I hadn't realized that. Idiot. He'd been thinking that it's wrong?

"You thought we would hate you?" Lenalee asked. "I admit it will take some time for me to understand it, but I'll never hate you. I wish you would have told me, Allen."

He bowed his head. Relieved. "For a while, I thought that maybe I would no longer be chosen by God if I…So I did nothing. I never thought something could…But now that it's happened, I know it's right. It feels right."

His words affected me. It felt more important to say something to Allen at that moment than to stay silent for the sake of revealing everything in degrees to Lenalee. I, myself, just found out something about Allen. It made me feel guilty for not speaking to him directly about it much sooner, even though I had had my own doubts at the time. "I thought you were being shy about it. That's why I pushed you. If I had known your doubts were so deep I would have done things differently," I said more softly than I intended.

Allen turned his body to the side to face me. "You're the last person I wanted to talk to about it, though. You couldn't have known. Anyway, that sort of worrying is over."

Lenalee inhaled sharply, which grabbed our attention, and put her hands over her mouth to cover her gaping expression. She had no words, but she didn't need them. She obviously drew the right conclusions from our exchange.

"I can guess what you're thinking," said Allen calmly, "and it's the truth."

She bored her eyes into Allen, and then into me.

I wanted her to understand. She was my oldest friend, and there was no living woman that I respected more. I was compelled to begin my own explanation. "I recently noticed a difference in Allen's behavior towards me. Eventually, I drew conclusions about what it meant. I was finding it difficult to confirm, but it made me start thinking about the possibility anyway. I don't want to talk to you about my reasons," at least not today, I thought, "but I confronted him about it two weeks ago." I could feel my face burn up. I hated this so much. "And we both agreed to give it a try." Her expression hadn't changed and it made me nervous. "Do you think this is something that you can accept?" I was steeling myself for rejection.  
She was like family, and what she thought could wound me.

Lenalee started to blink. Well, that was something. Then her face took on a more natural expression, if a great deal perplexed, and said, "Of course it is." I get the feeling that she wants to believe that, which is a great relief. But it won't be as simple as that statement implies. "But, there's a lot I don't understand."

"That’s ok," said Allen. "I think that's enough information for today, don't you?"

"Ok, you're right," she conceded. "But, just one thing, Allen. What about what you and I had? I don't mean it like it sounds!" she rushed to amend. "What I really mean is, you can like a woman, and then down the road, like a man? Gosh, how do I say this right?"

"Are you asking whether I was gay all along, or if I can like both men and women?"

"Yea," she answered shyly.

"I think, I'm able to like both. Being with Kanda now doesn't diminish what you and I had, or make it less real. The reverse is also true."

She absorbed that for a minute and then turned to me. "And Kanda, you had someone you loved once, in your first life." It was still difficult to think of her, but it wasn't the time to dwell.

"My feelings for her haven't changed. But now, I also care for someone else. You seem to want to understand, so I'll tell you. It doesn't have to be a choice of one preference or the other. At least not with Allen or me."

"Did you struggle with this as well?" she prodded.

"Not very much."

"I'm glad." She seemed to be warming up to the topic. "So, is Allen the first guy that you've thought of that way?"

"Not the first I've thought of, but the first I've…approached."

Just then, Komui's booming voice cut in, "Allen, Kanda! I'm glad you're here, because I've been meaning to talk to you!" We were saved from answering Lenalee's increasingly intrusive questions, but in this case the cure was worse than the disease.

Komui took note of all of the blushing, uncomfortable faces, sat down, and made himself comfortable easily.

"I have the feeling that you've been discussing one aspect of the very subject I meant," he said meaningfully.

How could he know that? But I had to ask myself: was he wrong, half-right, or really sure about what we were talking about with Lenalee? I had no idea, but it's best to keep the conversation driven by us in any case.

Allen beat me to it. "Yes, it's time that we talk about this with you. So that we know where to start, why don't you tell us what you know already?"

Komui seemed surprised by Allen's straight-forwardness, but then pressed on. "Well," then he paused, "Did you want Lenalee to stay?"

"What? This is my house." She responded indignantly.

"Yes, it's perfectly fine that she stays. At least, as long as she wants to know about it." Allen looked to me for a quick confirmation that I agreed to with a nod.

"I want to stay," she said.

"Alright then", Komui conceded. "What I know is that you, Allen and Kanda, have been displaying increasingly impressive synchronization with your respective Innocence. And, most recently in the battle in America, your Innocence ever so slightly synced with each other, creating a level of power never before seen. I also know what Timcampy showed me, from that time at the lake a couple of weeks ago. So, I could draw conclusions and fill in the blanks involving those two things that I know, but I would rather hear your thoughts on it first."

Allen glared at Timcampy like he was a traitor. And Timcampy was wisely positioned far from him at the moment.

Komui really seemed to care more about the information than any emotions that are tied to it. Or maybe he was phrasing it that way to make it easier for us. I could handle that. "There is a correlation," I confirmed.

"Could you please plot it out for me? The significant emotional events over the course of…however far back it's relevant? I'll run it against the data on your Innocence."

I nodded, and Allen said, "Ok." He didn't mean now did he? I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled out a pencil and paper right that second.

"Great," he said enthused, looking at each of us. "You can come by the lab later on today."

"Right. With that settled," said Allen, "we'll leave you to your visit with your sister." I couldn't agree with him more. We should leave well enough alone and exit on this positive, if still quite uncomfortable, note.

We sat on a park bench a few minutes later. Allen slumped down his seat and kicked his legs out. The concern on his face was obvious.

"It went better than we thought it would," I said in consolation. "Even counting Komui's surprise visit. And we knew it was possible that he would know that much."

"Yea," he agreed. "We have…great friends. I guess I'm just realizing that this is going to take a lot of work. Today is only the beginning."

"Yea." I put my hand on his shoulder and left it there. "Now, are you ready to visit the idiot Rabbit?" I asked challengingly.


	8. Chapter 8

Allen's POV:

I knocked on Lavi's door, Kanda beside me. There was a long moment with no response and when I was considering whether to knock again, I heard noises from within. Those noises grew louder and then the door cracked open enough to show Lavi's tired face.

He looked at each of us and asked, "Is something up?" in an equally tired voice. I had been worried he would assume there was an emergency of some sort because of the fact that he didn't know we would be visiting, but something in our stance must have told him that there was no need for him to jump to attention.

"Sorry if we woke you," I began – though I wasn't actually all that sympathetic due to it being nearly noon by now – "but we wanted to talk to you about something." Lavi had a habit of catching up on his Bookman duties late into the night.

"Sure," he said, opening the door the rest of the way and turning around. He walked into the kitchen stretching the whole way, and we followed. I could now see that he was still wearing pajamas. Lavi put on some coffee and threw a mixed bag of scones and doughnuts to the center of the small kitchen table where Kanda and I now sat. I took that as a 'help yourself' and finished a doughnut by the time Lavi sat down with a mug in his hand. After he took a few sips he said, "So what's the subject?" He was perking up already, which I was glad of.

So I dove right in – while trying not to belly-flop, "Lavi, Kanda and I would like to talk to you about the reasons behind what we were able to do in our fight against Tyki Mikk." The way that I said it implied that we would tell him because we knew, as opposed to us asking for his opinion on the matter.  
That grabbed his attention forcefully, and then he put on a friendly expression before he responded. "Yea, I admit I can't figure that out," he said while rubbing the back of his head. "I mean, the four of us have improved a lot lately, but something the two of you are doing has made you break through to a whole new level. It also looks like your Innocence interacted with each other. So, you think you know why?" He looked at each of us probingly. Not being able to figure it out must have really been bothering him. Of course, that shouldn't surprise me.

"Yes. It's because we like each other." Being direct with Lavi was the best approach. I held my breath and waited for a reaction.

He looked as if I said something rather obvious. "…But…we're all friends…If…"

"We're boyfriends," Kanda cut him off. Boyfriends. I hadn't thought about what to call us, but I liked the sound of it.

Lavi looked past us in thought for a long time and then, suddenly, he erupted in uncontrollable laughter.   
He put his head in one hand and bent forward, clutching his stomach with his other hand. I didn't know what exactly about this was funny and I told him so.

Lavi kept laughing.

Kanda growled out, "I'm going to punch you if you don't stop laughing."

Lavi put up a placating hand, and forced out his words through the laughter, "No! No! It's just, it makes perfect sense!" He calmed his breathing some and continued. "There was a huge piece of the puzzle missing until now. Not just your Innocence, but the way you've been acting, too. And now that you've said that, I know that is has to be true. Because it fits!" Lavi went thoughtful again, his face losing expression, and the longer he stayed in his own head the redder his face became.

"What are you thinking of," demanded Kanda in an embarrassed voice.

I couldn't help but think back to the hours Kanda and I spent together last night, before putting my attention back to Lavi.

Lavi looked at us and cracked up all over again, and this time it was unmistakably at our expense. Kanda and I looked at each other and nonverbally came to the conclusion to let him get it out of his system. 

Kanda was left with an indulgent look on his face.

"Ok!," said Lavi, "that time I was getting mental images of you going on dates, and Allen combing Kanda's hair, and saying romantic things to each other like 'I'll never leave you'!" Then he was laughing the hardest yet.

I couldn't help but smile. His words weren't meant to hurt us. It was ordinary teasing really; I was just more sensitive in this situation over others in the past. Maybe his good humor was contagious.

Kanda, however, hammered him hard on the head with his fist, and told him to shut up. Well, despite my previous thoughts I don't blame Kanda for that.

"Alright, alright," Lavi said mildly irritated, rubbing the top of his head.

"Don't hide behind jokes," I advised.

He took a deep breath and adopted a more serious tone. "I don't think badly of either of you, if that's what you're worried about." The tightness in my chest that had been there through the conversation so far eased a bit. "I'm a Bookman, right? It's not in me to judge others for something like that. In fact, these kinds of relationships aren't as rare as popular opinion suggests. It still never occurred to me though. In retrospect, I should have thought of it sooner. If I had looked at things more objectively, I would have. But since I'm so close to the both of you, I rejected it out of hand because I assumed I knew you. But even though I know you, I should have realized that there is still so much I don't know."

So that it didn't get too introspective, I move the conversation along. "So, Lavi, you spoke as a Bookman, but what about as an Exorcist?" I asked. He only offered his opinion from an emotional distance so far, but I'm glad it's been supportive. Because a good relationship among us matters so damn much, I needed more of an answer.

He answered easily. "As an Exorcist, it's your commitment to the war that matters. And that hasn't changed as far as I can see. And it's made you stronger, right? We're closer to winning as a result." So he already realized all of the repercussions that I have. "And as a generalization for all Exorcists, we're a very inclusive group to everyone who takes their responsibilities seriously. When you think about it, most cultures in the world have fear or anger towards cultures that are different. And they try to justify it in various ways. But look at our motley group of peers – they're from all over the world and we've all grown up differently from each other. But we don't let that bother us at all, most don't even think about it because there are other things to worry about. Because of all of that, I don't think you have to worry about their harsh opinions any more than mine."

I smiled my appreciation at his insight and then asked, "And, what about as our friend?"

He looked at both of us seriously. "As your friend, I trust your judgment. If this was something frivolous, you wouldn't be telling me about it this way. So that means it's important to you. It's normal for things to change. Our group dynamic will likely change as a result, but it's ok. As long as we understand each other."

My heart swelled. "You're right, Lavi. I guess it would be silly to try to keep things the same." I couldn't keep the relief out of my voice.

"If we all keep that attitude, we'll do just fine," Kanda told him.

"So, who else have you talked to about this?" Lavi asked.

"We talked to Lenalee earlier today," I answered. Lavi leaned closer in interest. "What did she say?"

"She's basically in shock, but she wants to understand."

"Hey, that's great. It seems like a really honest reaction."

"Then Komui came by," added Kanda, "and pretty much told us that he already knew. He was…clinical."

Lavi laughed gently and said, "He was likely protecting you from feeling awkward then. He doesn't just see himself as Lenalee's big brother, you know. He acts as a big brother to all four of us nowadays."

"You're probably right," I said.

"And General Tiedoll knows. I told him while he was here," said Kanda.

Lavi looked surprised at that news. I was still surprised myself. But I'm glad he can talk that openly with  
Tiedoll now. I see him expanding his world little by little.

"Did you intentionally tell him or did he weasel it out of you with his fatherly ways? It looks like he must have taken it well. He seemed very happy to have seen you."

"A mixture of both," Kanda answered with a thoughtful frown. "Once I was already talking to him, it seemed like a good idea to mention it."

"And who else are you planning to tell?" Lavi asked.

"Just Johnnie, I think," I said. "With the Finders, we’ll just wait for it to come up naturally."

"Sounds like a good attitude to me," Lavi replied jovially. He was really trying to make things easier on us by sorting these kinds of things out together. I'm reminded that I really do have really good friends.  
Kanda grabbed a scone.

Kanda's POV:

There was nothing else left but to train, so all of the exorcists and most of the Finders could be found in the outdoor training area. 

"Now," Lavi said, addressing the three of us, "it's hand-to-hand combat today, right?"

"Yea, let's get started," said Allen.

We started out with one on one matches, using light gloves and head gear. The rules being one round per match, continuing until it was apparent to the two that weren't fighting that there was a winner. Allen fought Lenalee first. She's very fast, and a solid kick from her would knock any one of us out. But he successfully avoided her legs, and landed a few good punches to her torso and head. It wasn't an easy win for Allen, but eventually, even through her determination to keep standing, Lenalee fell to her knees in exhaustion. When it was over, Allen offered his hand and pulled Lenalee up. Lavi gave Lenalee some encouraging words, and then I stepped out onto the floor.

I was certain of my victory over Lavi before we even began. He was the least competent in hand-to -hand of the four of us. I didn't go easy on him. When he attempted a punch that didn't land, and dawdled in my striking range, I attacked around his poor defenses and then threw him to the ground. He was slow to get up, so I hit him while he was down and got him into a choke hold. He tried to get out of it but wasn't able to.

Allen called the fight, and I let him go.

Lavi sat on his knees and caught his breath, rubbing his throat, and I sat behind him. "Don't stay near your opponent unless you intend to attack," I told him. "Get in-attack-get out, remember?" I saw him nod. "Your arms weren't placed well, you're side was wide open when I attacked. When the first hit landed, you should have also tried to either counter attack, block, or move away." He didn't respond that time, but I knew he was considering the words.

"You're improving, though, Lavi," Allen added.

Lavi thanked him.

"Let's see you try that with me, Kanda," Allen challenged. He stepped forward as I stood up, never breaking eye contact. His facial expression told me that he wouldn't be holding back, and it made my pulse quicken in excitement. He was a worthy opponent in more ways than one.

We stood in front of each other, and I was aching for the match to begin, body poised in anticipation. At  
Lenalee's word for us to start, I stepped forward and stuck. He blocked me with effort, and countered before I could move back. There were many attempts between the two of us, but not hits. I like the jarring sensations that rang my body as I blocked and struck. Allen was just barely keeping up with the pace, and with a surge of adrenalin I quickly landed a hit to his chest that sent him reeling into a tree. I felt a moment of satisfaction, and then a flash of memory reminded me that he has a recent head injury, and I felt guilty for the move.

I walked over, and along the way I called out, "How's the head?"

"Alright," he yelled back, with only slight annoyance. He walked in my direction as well, so that we stood in defense just out of reach. There was a brief standoff, and then I intentionally lowered my guard some so that he would attack first - I'm very good at turning my opponent's momentum against himself. He didn't take the bait though; he only lifted an eyebrow at me, leaving me amused and proud of his patience. I moved first, closing the distance between us intending to kick him in the stomach. To my surprise, he grabbed my ankle and redirected me so that I went sprawling face down to the ground. This was the first time that he successfully redirected me - I really didn't think he could. The crowd of Finders that had formed to watch cheered - They tended to cheer at anything that was entertaining. But anger now mixed with the excitement I was feeling, making me focus even more sharply.

He moved to grapple me, to keep me down, but I rolled away from him and got up before he could do so. I looked him in the eye and saw an excited intensity similar to my own. I smiled wildly and he returned it instantly. More cautiously this time, I moved towards him, intending to use my reach advantage by striking within my range but out of his own.

Allen was well aware of the disadvantage and decided to peel away. But he made the poor choice of coming closer to the wall of a building in the process. I lunged in as fast as I could and grabbed the front of his shirt, and then pushed forward to drive him into the wall.

He was forced to move his legs, walking backwards as I moved forwards, but at the last moment before impact he twisted himself around so that he actually banked the wall, running up the side and pushing off so that he did a full summersault in the air. I lost my grip on him in the process.

He landed behind me and wasted no time in driving me into the wall instead. I got the wind knocked out of me at the impact, though I should have known to exhale at the right moment to prevent that from happening. I couldn't breathe and I hesitated a moment too long, because now Allen had his left arm around my neck in a choke hold, bending me slightly backwards from the height difference. I had no hope of regaining my breath now unless I knocked him away.

I dug me heel backward in an attempt to hit his shin, but he avoided it by moving back, taking me with him by the neck. I had no choice but to kneel down on the ground to alleviate the pressure on my neck, and I did manage one desperate gasp before he adjusted his hold.

"Tap out," Allen urged.

I responded by barraging his head behind me with my fists. Only one of them landed and his grip didn't loosen. As I pulled at his left arm, I started considering whether I would rather pass out while still fighting than concede defeat, but Lenalee made the decision for me.

From beside us, Lenalee said in a loud voice, "The fight is over. Allen, let Kanda go."

Allen let go immediately, and I could do nothing but take big, ragged gulps of air. I looked to the ground so I didn't see anything, but I heard the crowd murmur and exclaim, and I heard Lavi tell both Allen and me that we had a really exciting match.

I stayed where I was, catching my breath, until Allen walked around in front of me and offered his hand. I hesitated only a moment before grabbing his forearm and getting up. The bystanders dispersed until it was just me, Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee standing together.

"Man, I thought it might be more difficult for you to spar together from now on, but it looks like the opposite is true! You two are really something!" exclaimed Lavi.

Neither Allen nor I answered. We each stared at the other, arms still locked. I had lost, but as the adrenaline left me I realized I wasn't angry. I knew, logically, for a long time that it didn't matter who won in training, because we were all collectively getting stronger, but it's the first time I truly felt like I understood the sentiment. Allen has become an excellent fighter, and I was proud of him. I was really starting to wish that the two of us were alone, because I couldn't express those things in front of anyone else.

Eventually, we let go and Allen answered, "It may sound strange, but it's actually easier."

x

The rest of the training session seemed to go agonizingly slow, but eventually I was in my house again, stepping out of the bath. I dried myself easily, all aches and pains now gone, and wrapped my towel around my waist. As I combed through my hair in the bedroom, I saw a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. I had a good guess of what that was; And yes, a moment later I heard a familiar voice call out my name.

I called out, "In here," and that was all of the invitation he needed. Allen walked into my bedroom and smiled at my state of undress. Since he was wearing nothing but a white cotton robe he said, "Good, then I'm not underdressed."

I smiled and said, "You don't even know what you're in for. In a few minutes I promise you'll be considered overdressed."

"Does that have anything to do with our match today, or this a continuation of your generally insatiable attitude towards me?" he teased.

"Both." I thought back to our frequent encounters over the past few weeks - Discreetly excusing ourselves from the midst of the larger after-dinner gatherings, not so discreetly leaving the company of our friends; really, they weren't discreet moments because of the knowledge they held, more than much change in our behavior. Doing all manner of kissing, touching, rubbing, fisting, licking, sucking, and fucking; rough, tender and everything in-between. Only yesterday I took him from behind and made him fall apart, falling asleep together afterwards in a tangled mess of limbs in his bed. But fighting him today put me in an as-yet unexplored mood.

"Oh? So you don't mind losing every once in a while then?" It looked as though he had been a little worried about that.

It was difficult to explain, so I gathered my thoughts while I put my comb down and walked to him so that I stood only a few inches away. "I would get angry at myself if I was beaten by my own carelessness, or some fluke. But you bested me today and you deserved the win." I lifted my arm and slid my fingers through his hair, which made him close his eyes. "I respect you as my equal," in some ways my better, "it makes me want you even more," I finished huskily.

All at once, Allen grabbed me by the back of the neck and kissed me fervently. The fuel had been gathered and now this one spark set us ablaze. He pushed me back to my bed, and I sat down when I felt it at the backs of my legs. He straddled his legs around my waist and we pressed closely together. When I laid back on the bed, he followed me and molded against me, with one leg between my own and the other drawn up to hug my waist. His hands were on the sides of my face, as if to keep me still. I was pleasantly surrounded by him, and I put my arms around his waist to bring him closer still. My hands traveled slowly along his back, until they reach his shoulders, and I pulled his robe down and away from his body. He kept his hands off of me just long enough to pull his arms out of the robe so that only his hips were covered. Then I felt his wonderful skin against mine, chest to chest. I moaned into his mouth and I felt his smile on my lips.

Allen lifted his hips and grabbed the towel that was still around my waist and said, "I think it's you who don't know what you're in for, Kanda," and pulled the towel away. 

"Show me," I encouraged. Well, maybe challenged.

He growled in response and took my hard cock in his hand. I gasped as my head swam. A moment later, his mouth enveloped me. He used his mouth, tongue, and hands so confidently. He was learning so well what drove me insane. I was lost.

I heard him rifling through drawers, but I didn't spare a thought as to what he was looking for. All I cared about was that his full attention be put back on me as soon as possible. And when it was, his mouth was faster and deeper, and his hands were even more attentive than before. I grabbed his head and grunted my pleasure. And then I felt something new. Something that added to the pleasure in a different way. It took me some time to identify, but I eventually realized that Allen was massaging the ring of my entrance, and that he was using the lubrication that had been in my bedside table. But there was no way that I was going to protest. It felt too good. And there's a part of me that wanted exactly this to happen – with assertive actions, and not with useless words. So I spread my legs further apart in invitation for him to do more.

I could feel him try to smile while his mouth surrounded me. His left hand, slightly rough as always, grabbed the base of my cock and surrounded what his mouth did not. His other hand continued the same teasing motions until I pushed against his fingers in my eagerness. He responded by slowly pushing one well lubricated finger inside of me, and another. His fingers were gliding, and it wasn't long before he found my prostate. I yelled out, and then stretched my arms over my head as he rubbed against it relentlessly.

Allen moved up to cover the length of my body with his and we kissed urgently. He pinned my wrists to the bed, which I still had over my head, with his left hand. It sent a surprising thrill through me. I struggled just a little against the hold and felt a satisfying resistance that made me groan into his mouth. I pushed more strongly, muscles straining, and his arm held firm against me as he smiled in understanding. I could imagine an interesting battle between us in the midst of white sheets. But not today. Today, in this moment, I was content to be led. 

Allen quickly lubricated his cock as I bent my legs at the knee. He entered me fluidly – just slow enough – and stilled. When I started breathing again, he held my cock and stroked it in time with a few experimental thrusts. Finding his lips too far away to kiss, I curled my stomach and he moved with me. I kissed him until my need for him to move inside me was too great to ignore. Our lips parted, our position shifted slightly, and then he was pumping. And when I had enough sense to do so, I pushed back against him. We stretched, shifted and moved often – exploring this experience in the same eager way we have been ever since that time at the lake. And when it was over, we fell asleep in each other’s arms in my bed.

This was only the beginning of our relationship, but I knew what it was. Maybe my vague memories of my past helped me to understand. This is love.


End file.
